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Competitiveness Can Benefit Mesothelioma Patients
What motivates someone to push himself through his recovery? I think we all have a competitive edge to us for something. It could be to be the best salesman, homemaker, parent, or to be the best at our job, in our home or any other area we want to improve. For some, competition is all encompassing, for others it is a healthy motivator.
I took care of a patient the other day who was observing another patient’s recovery. He said, “Oh, he looks better than I do when he’s walking.” I explained the other patient had a different set of circumstances, and that no two mesothelioma patients are alike. He nodded in agreement. Knowing what a competitive person he was, I knew he was noting this and thinking how he was going to improve. His verbalizing that the other patient looked better walking was actually motivating him to push himself.
Reflecting on this, it reminded me of how fortunate we are in the U.S. to have dedicated mesothelioma centers. Now, as there is more collaboration between the researchers, and various centers than in the past we can ask, “What motivates these researchers?”
I think it is more about them wanting to do their best. Without competition, what would motivate these researchers and future researchers to dedicate their lives to a disease that many others have thrown their hands up at? These scientists, doctors, nurses and others would not keep working to improve the outcome for mesothelioma patients, if they were satisfied with the status quo. They would be satisfied like many other medical professionals before them, saying there is nothing we can do.
As for my patient, the next time he walks, he may walk farther just because he saw somebody else do the same. When the competitor in us helps us achieve more, we should embrace it. Sometimes we need to motivate ourselves by pushing ourselves so we can grow and get more information, research, ideas, or maybe just walk a few more steps in after surgery.
Take a few more deep breaths, and count our blessings that we are able to do it.
Mesothelioma Nurse Shares Her Passion for Her Job
Throughout the world there are nurses on the frontline of health care doing many jobs that many have not ever considered doing. There are 3.4 million Registered Nurses in the United States – one in a hundred people in the U.S. are nurses. For 13 years, RNs have been named number one as the most respected profession. Nurses are women and men, we come in all sizes, ages, colors, nationalities. We work long hours doing things that are far from glamorous.
I have been a nurse for many, many years, and often I am asked, “What do nurses do?” When my children were growing up, it was a question they would ask. When they were young and I was working nights, I would often bring home donuts, so they thought I had gone out early to get the donuts. As they grew up, they stopped in one day when I was working in the SICU, I happened to be assigned to the first room, “Ah,” my son said, “you are like the Walmart greeter!”
A couple of years ago my husband was critically ill with what turned out to be a tick-borne disease called anaplasma. As one of my daughters and I watched, his nurse in the Medical Intensive Care Unit seamlessly worked on him, hung fluids, suctioned him, monitored his vital signs, titrated life saving medications, and talked to us, all the time as she prepared him for a CAT scan. When we left that evening, my daughter, a successful computer software professional, turned to me and said, “I could never be a nurse, she never stopped working for the last four hours, she was toiling over someone she doesn’t even know. She never once complained or took a break. I am exhausted from just watching her.”
This month, Kelley Johnson, RN, a contestant in the Miss America pageant, expressed her passion for nursing in the talent portion of the contest. It was a poignant, memorable, from-the-heart monologue. She was expressing what every nurse feels: the satisfaction of connecting, caring, touching another person.
Members of the TV show The View, commented on her “costume,” her “MD’S stethoscope”, and found the monologue, “hilarious,” “she was reading her e-mails.” After the “apology” was issued, another cast member suggested that the nurses “listen more carefully.”
Message given and received. I, and I suspect many other nurses, will not be watching The View again, but I will be buying Eggland’s Best eggs and Johnson & Johnson products, as they have both pulled their advertisement support of the show.
When the anger and disappointment that this incident has created passes, hopefully more people will know what nurses do, and what a great job it is for those lucky enough to be blessed with the passion for it.
In a society that often confuses success with the amount of money earned, or by becoming a celebrity for one thing or another, or by expressing our opinions on a talk show, we are reminded that the Kelley Johnson’s of the younger generation are our bright lights.
Maya Angelou said, “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” Kelley Johnson is a success and a reminder to us all – nurses are not on TV, are not famous, but most of America respects us.
And that is the take-away in this controversy – and the panelists on The View now realize nurses are respected.
Advocacy for the Mesothelioma Community May Evolve Over Time
Unfortunately, there are countless members of the mesothelioma community, and our numbers are growing by the day. Each one of us advocates for those affected by this disease in our own way. Some take a more “in your face” approach, some quietly talk to their family and friends, and still others are somewhere in between. No matter where you find yourself, your efforts are appreciated.
For my family, a lot of the level of involvement that we had at any particular time, depended on where Dad was in his treatment process and his overall health. As much as we wanted to be “all in” all of the time, it just wasn’t possible. Our number one priority had to be taking care of my father, while praying for those who were able to be more active at that point.
Emotions can play a big role in someone’s level of involvement and willingness to share their story. For example, when we were grieving my Dad’s loss, I sort of stayed on the outskirts of things for a bit. The feelings of sadness and pain were too raw and I needed some time to sort through everything before I felt ready to dive back in. For others, these feelings may be a catalyst to act and act now. Everyone is different and will respond in the way they feel best for them.
It’s ok to choose your own way to advocate. Even our silent members are an important part of this community. We all have a shared bond that we wish we didn’t, but we have helped each other through the awful highs and lows that are part and parcel with this cancer. We all have our own story to share in whichever way we choose.
The Inconvenience of Mesothelioma
It was a Sunday afternoon. My husband and I had just gotten to my parent’s house and were planning to go to the hospital with them the next morning for Dad’s procedure. They were going to go in, find out what was causing the fluid in his lungs, fix it or come up with a treatment plan. He was going to be in the hospital a couple of days, come home, and be fine. Mike and I were going to leave for home on Wednesday and participate in a home show on Thursday. Everything was supposed to be fine.
The procedure was over and the surgeon took me and my family into a private room. I looked at Mike and said, “This isn’t good.” The doctor gently delivered the news that would forever change our lives. “It looks like a mesothelioma.” At the time, I didn’t understand what that meant, but once the reality sunk in, I began crying and shaking uncontrollably. As I peered around the room and saw the looks in everyone’s eyes, I knew that this battle had just begun and that everything was going to be different from here on out.
Mesothelioma began its reign over our lives. Every waking moment and the majority of my dreams were consumed by it. I thank God that we had some truly miraculous moments during our journey with this awful cancer, but it was still always at the fronts of our minds.
When Dad lost his battle to the disease on October 15, 2013, he was freed of mesothelioma; those of us left behind were not. The remnants of mesothelioma are seen in my family and me every single day. There is always a bit of sadness, missing Dad and wishing he were here for every moment. There is an empty place at the table, an empty rocking chair, and an emptiness in every conversation where his laugh should be interjected.
Mesothelioma is so many things. One thing it is for sure is an inconvenience… not necessarily in the traditional sense of the word, but in a harsher way. Our lives were changed and impacted in ways we could never have prepared ourselves for. This disease is a game changer, and not for the better.
Waiting and Praying for a Cure for Mesothelioma
Patience is a virtue; this phrase has been repeated to millions of people, millions of times, for millions of different reasons. For mesothelioma patients, their families and loved ones, the waiting is often the hardest part.
There is a lot of waiting involved in a battle with mesothelioma. You wait for test results, you wait in doctor’s offices, you wait to feel some relief, you wait for a new treatment option. Ultimately, you wait for a cure.
I spent many hours agonizing over what my Dad’s scans would show. I wanted to know if things were clear; I needed to see that nothing had come back. But once the doctor would walk into the room, I wondered if I would rather hear the results or continue waiting.
The time spent waiting for appointments is trying. You understand that there are other patients who need care, but couple the waiting with anxiety and the result is awful! When Dad would be having a hard day, I would wait for him to feel better. When he was doing well, I would wonder if he would have to experience any more illness. The emotional rollercoaster is never-ending.
Waiting for new treatments and a mesothelioma cure is hard. You pray for it every single day, hoping that the next option will be the one that can eradicate this disease once and for all. Please continue to pray for this. It would be wonderful if all of this waiting could end, and we could all start looking forward to a brighter future, free of mesothelioma forever.
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