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Mom’s Strength and Faith Keep Me Going
Over the past couple of years, I have realized what I always suspected: my Mom is the strongest woman I have ever known. Throughout Dad’s fight with mesothelioma, she was the rock that we all turned to for guidance and reassurance. When Dad passed away, she was the one who made us feel like everything would be ok. How she does it, I will never know.
Mom’s inner strength has always amazed me. From the time I was a little girl, I always knew she was “tough;” it took something like a mesothelioma diagnosis for me to realize just how tough she really is. Mom’s faith never wavered during all the ups and downs that came with this unchartered territory. Right from the start when I asked her what we were going to do, her strength shined through.
This past year has been tough on all of us without Dad. Even so, Mom, who lost her husband of nearly 32 years, has been the one holding us all together. When I feel down, she makes me realize that Dad is in a better place now with no pain and no suffering. He can breathe again, sing again, and is an angel who is always with us.
I thank God every day for Mom, and pray that I might have even half of the strength that she has. Handling every day with dignity and poise in the face of adversity is not an easy task, but it’s one that Mom has had to endure every day. She is a wonderful example of the beauty that lies deep within true strength.
Starting Your Fundraising Efforts for the Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation
Working with the Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation has given me so much. My family and I have received invaluable advice and direction, made new friends, and have gotten the opportunity to give back in so many ways. I was put in touch with them by a friend who had also directed us to New York City for Dad’s treatment.
When I first contacted the Meso Foundation, I had no idea what to expect. What would I ask? Who would I talk to? Could they really help me? To be honest, I don’t remember a lot of the details of what I said, but I do remember feeling hopeful after my initial conversation. I realized that the staff there were knowledgeable, compassionate people who are experts in the field of mesothelioma.
Once Dad arrived home from the hospital after his pleurectomy, we knew that we wanted to give back somehow and try to help the Meso Foundation continue to make a profound difference in mesothelioma research, advocacy, and support. We began planning our first fundraiser shortly after.
The Meso Foundation has an amazing fundraising coordinator and a great team who can help you get on your way. They can provide you with ideas, or help you turn your idea into a reality. Once your event is complete, it’s a great idea to ask corporations and local businesses to match your contribution, doubling the amount you are able to donate.
I am proud to be a member of the Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation’s Rising Leaders Council, a group of young advocates dedicated to working toward the goal of finding a cure for this awful disease. If you would like more information on the Meso Foundation and their life changing work, please visit curemeso.org.
Mesothelioma Advocacy Requires Patience and Persistence
When people around you who are aware of what mesothelioma is and what causes it, but still don’t take it seriously, it can be absolutely heartbreaking. People live busy lives nowadays, but it’s still important to be sensitive to the issues and dangers of asbestos. Ignorance has gotten us nowhere, and it’s important to stand up for yourself and your loved ones.
It’s amazing how close to home that comment hits me now, about 11 months since my Dad passed away. Every comment takes me back to the day we got the call that he had stopped breathing, and makes the grief that I always feel totally fresh. I have said it before, but unless you go through it, you can never really understand the way that mesothelioma tears people apart.
When someone hurts you with their words, it is important to try to keep your composure and let them know that you are upset. Tell them what you’ve gone through and help them understand that mesothelioma and asbestos are not an easy topic for you, nor should they be for anyone.
Education is the only way that people will comprehend what you’ve experienced, and it is a wonderful way to advocate for the entire mesothelioma community. Try to turn your negative experience into a positive and enlighten someone about asbestos related diseases. This could be your opportunity to truly make a difference in someone’s life.
Mesothelioma Nurse Suggests Reading Book That Addresses Mortality
When diagnosed with mesothelioma, or any life-threatening illness, it compels the patient, family and contemporaries to face our own mortality. The fact that we are all going to die is something we all know, but no one wants to deal with it. How many of us do not have a will or have not done any estate planning? What will death look like for us? Will we be in pain? Alone? Broke? What matters?
On October 7, “Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End,” by Dr. Atul Gawande, will be released. Dr. Gawande is a New York Times best-selling author and a talented, practicing surgeon at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, Massachusetts.
Below is an excerpt of the overview of the book:
“Medicine has triumphed in a modern time, transforming birth, injury and infectious disease from harrowing to manageable. But in the inevitable condition of aging and death the goals of medicine seem too frequently to run counter to the interest of the human spirit. Nursing homes, preoccupied with safety, pin patients into railed beds and wheelchairs. Hospitals isolate the dying; checking for vital signs long after the goals of care have become moot. Doctors committed to extending life, continue to carry out devastating procedures that in the end extend suffering.”
Hopefully, this book will open up conversations and actions that will lead to exploring our fears about death and continuing life after there is quality that we do not want.
For mesothelioma victims, the importance of palliative care experts on your team is again emphasized. From the time of diagnosis through the journey of mesothelioma treatments, quality of life issues, and being pain free, palliative care specialists strive to meet the patients’ needs.
Being aggressive with mesothelioma medical treatment is what is encouraged. However, a good quality of life is the goal.
Being Mortal:Medicine and What Matters in the End is available through Amazon.
If you have questions about your mesothelioma treatment, palliative care, or any aspect of your mesothelioma care, please email me at [email protected].
Ask Jennifer: “Did Your Father Have Boundaries to His Treatments?”
After Dad had his surgery, a pleurectomy, in New York City, he arrived home and began his chemotherapy treatments. From the beginning, he promised me that he would fight, going as far as saying, “I don’t quit.” As far as I knew, he was open to every treatment possibility from the start. Little did I know that he initially had some doubts.
I was talking with Dad one evening while we were visiting and he told me that originally, he had made up his mind that he wasn’t having surgery. He would have agreed to do chemotherapy or other non-surgical treatments, but he wasn’t going to go the surgical route. This absolutely surprised me! I had no idea that he was thinking along those lines.
When I asked Dad what eventually changed his mind, he told me that when a total stranger found us to tell us about Dr. Pass and the pleurectomy, he knew that God was at work and that this was the path He wanted him to take. Dad was a man of such great faith, and this is a prime example.
Once the surgery and chemotherapy were completed, he was excited to be a part of a clinical trial at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, also in NYC. He said that if there was something more that could be done to help him, he was going to do it.
Having those initial feelings of doubt and dread are only natural. After all, it’s the fear of the unknown and having to deal with a lot of information in a short period of time. The best advice I can give anyone facing mesothelioma treatment decisions is to pray about it. Do your best not to be overwhelmed (easier said than done, I know) and weigh all your options, making the decisions that you feel are best for you or your loved one.
I am so proud of Dad and how his trust in God caused him to know no boundaries in how far he would go to beat mesothelioma. Even though the unknown is scary, God always will get you through. Dad’s example is one that I try to follow in my everyday life. Perhaps his mantra could have been, “There are no boundaries when you know God.”
Free Mesothelioma Patient & Treatment Guide
We’d like to offer you our in-depth guide, “A Patient’s Guide to Mesothelioma,” absolutely free of charge.
It contains a wealth of information and resources to help you better understand the condition, choose (and afford) appropriate treatment, and exercise your legal right to compensation.
Download Now