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President Declared November as National Family Caregivers Month
“Each day, courageous individuals step forward to help care for family members in need, their quiet acts of selflessness and sacrifice telling a story of love and devotion. Across our country, parents and children, siblings and spouses, friends and neighbors heroically give of themselves to support those in their lives affected by illness, injury, or disability. During National Family Caregivers Month, we salute the people who play difficult and exhausting roles, and we recommit to lifting up these Americans as they care for their loved ones while protecting their dignity and individuality.
In the United States, more than 60 million caregivers provide invaluable strength and assistance to their family members, and as the number of older Americans rises, so will the number of caregivers. Many of these dedicated people work full time and raise children of their own while also caring for the needs of their loved ones. Caregivers support the independence of their family members and enable them to more fully participate in their communities, and as a Nation, we have an obligation to empower these selfless individuals.” ~ Presidential Proclamation — National Family Caregivers Month, 2014
The reality is without family caregivers, we would not be able to care for the sick. All of us at some point in our lives, for some period of time will have the opportunity to take care of someone. We are them.
[expert_info author=”Rashida Jones”]“I know that in life there will be sickness, devastation, disappointments, heartache- it’s a given. What’s not a given is the way you choose to get through it all. If you look hard enough, you can always find the bright side.” [/expert_info]As I look back on some of the family caregivers I have encountered over the years, some of the faces and names, and their stories, come to mind. The newly married wife of a young mesothelioma patient, how supportive and loving she was and how well he did. The next time I saw them he had gained twenty pounds, looked and felt wonderful; she had aged, and lost ten pounds, but her smile could not have been brighter!
There was an elderly couple who had been together for a long time, she had mesothelioma and he doted on her, took notes, and was happy to do anything he could for her.
A middle aged couple, married for twenty years with no children – she had mesothelioma, she was the light of his life. He would travel half way across the country to work in order to keep their medical insurance, so that she would have the care she wanted at the institution she wanted.
The stories will never make the headlines, but they are more important than any celebrity, or business deal, or latest fad to sweep the nation. They are happening every day, look around and be thankful: we have them among us.
Family caregivers are the bright side!
There is No Good Time for Mesothelioma
John Lennon is quoted as saying, “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” No matter how precisely you have things planned out in your mind, God’s plan takes over. Perhaps the quote, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans” is more fitting here. I guess that in reality, you have to let go of any control you think you might have and look at the life around you happening right now.
No matter what, there is no “good time” to get mesothelioma. It doesn’t matter what’s happening in your life at the moment, everything changes so that you can take care of yourself or your loved one. Vacations are cancelled, work schedules shift, plans with friends are the last thing on your mind. It has to be that way because health priorities take over.
Oftentimes, when someone is faced with adversity of any kind, they wonder “why now?” The answer to this question will always elude us. We have no way of knowing why things happen the way that they do. We just have to do our best to accept the challenges ahead of us and realize what is really important in life.
During my father’s fight with mesothelioma, he always told us not to change our plans and to have fun doing whatever would make us happiest. The truth is, the thing that we were the happiest doing was spending time with him. No matter if that meant going out and doing things when he was feeling his best, or taking care of him at his worst, being together was so special to us that it didn’t matter. There was no place we would have rather been than by his side.
Try not to get discouraged if you’re having trouble juggling personal obligations and interests with taking care of your loved one. Pray about it and it will all come together. Also, if you’re the patient, remember that your family loves you and only wants the best for you. They want to be there for you anyway that they can.
Life is a balancing act; luckily, we don’t have to go through it alone. God bless you.
Considering a Mesothelioma End-of-Life Discussion with the Family
With my Dad, we never had a discussion about “end of life things” directly. I knew from fleeting chats that his main concern was getting to Heaven when he passed, no matter when that would be. It was a conversation that was had from the time I was a little girl about living in a way that would please God and eventually lead to the promise of a heavenly home.
Once he was diagnosed with mesothelioma, I did learn a couple of things about what Dad did not want. He didn’t want a tube in his throat and he didn’t want to have to suffer. Thankfully, God blessed him by taking him quickly at home.
These kinds of conversations are ones that most people dread having. Some people, on the other hand, like to let their loved ones know their wishes; in a way, they may be trying to make it easier on their family in the long run.
Be sure to leave the door open for your loved one to talk about end of life wishes and hopes. Even though you may not be completely comfortable with it, let them guide the conversation; after all, it is about them. Let them know that you are paying attention to what they are saying and make a conscious effort to remember every word.
Even if you never have this discussion, you may find, as we did, that your loved one made little comments here and there that you can pull together, allowing you to create a wonderful memorial for them. If not, just take some time to think and recall your fondest memories, let them guide you and bring you peace.
Mesothelioma Nurse Takes Workshop Designed to Help Her Help Patients Heal Faster
I was recently working in the intensive care unit when I received a patient from the operating room. She was 65 years old and had her lung removed because of mesothelioma. She was a pleasant woman who was awake and able to converse with me. I was getting her settled, which can be time consuming, and I was able to explain my movements and my tasks to help alleviate some of her anxiety.
Soon her husband came in to stay with her, and I included him in my explanation of the plan for recovery, as well as explaining our policies. It is important to include the family and patient in the plan of care.
As our afternoon progressed, I found the patient and her husband fascinating. The patient, who I will call Rose, was unique and had something that I was drawn to. As our afternoon continued, I learned about her personal journey. She lived with her husband and had a supportive family. Unfortunately, her brother-in-law was battling cancer as well. This couple had been faced with their own cancer story and were also weighed down by other family member’s cancer as well.
Rose had received chemotherapy preoperatively, and as she says, it was rough. She had lost some of her hair, and she was petite, with not much excess weight. She continued to tell me about her life and her journey with mesothelioma. I still felt something was different about her. Then she told me she had taken a workshop prior to her surgery – Peggy Huddleston’s Prepare for Surgery Heal Faster.
Rose and her husband explained that someone contacted them after they requested this workshop. She explained to me this woman called them and spent approximately an hour on the phone call using mind body techniques. It is a five-step process to prepare for surgery (or chemotherapy or radiation). My shift ended and I said goodbye and wished them well.
As I drove home that evening I thought about her and realized I had to investigate more about Peggy Huddleston. Thank goodness for Google. I found her on the internet and called her. We had numerous conversations about her workshop and how I had met Rose. I got the book. I read it from start to end and sat back and thought about it.
My next step was to take the workshop. It was a two-day workshop to become trained on how to offer this workshop to patients. The course was on a Sunday, and I drove about 40 miles to see this woman at her house. I have to admit I was a bit skeptical and uneasy about this. I really was not sure what to expect.
One hour after meeting her I was hooked. I was fascinated by her thoughts, stories and ideas. We continued through the day and into the next with information offered on how to make a difference for this these patients. I felt like this was no accident and this is the basis of me being a nurse, I want to make a difference, especially for mesothelioma patients.
The two days flew by like no other conference/workshop I had ever been to, and I have attended my fair share. I was energized and excited about this new way to help people. So now I too can offer this workshop to help people with their medical treatments.
If you need something else try this. I have seen a lot during my career and this works. Besides making you feel well, there is research that shows this workshop reduces length of stay, and lessens the need for pain medicine. There are many testimonials about this program – and Rose was one of them saying it made a huge difference in her recovery and journey with mesothelioma.
If you are interested in reading and learning more about this, or if you have any question about any aspect of your mesothelioma care, please email me at [email protected].
Find A Shoulder To Cry On To Help You Deal With Mesothelioma Cancer
Internalizing your emotions can be an easy thing to do when you or someone you love is facing a mesothelioma diagnosis. Even if you don’t mean to do this, it tends to happen. I can tell you from my own experience that it happened to me, but that things seemed a lot more manageable once I opened up to those I love.
When Dad was first diagnosed, I was a mess of emotions that didn’t make any sense. In one instant, everything I knew changed. I was sad, scared, angry, and confused. I knew that everyone around me was feeling the same way, and I didn’t want to burden anyone with having to help me when I knew that we needed to focus on my father. It didn’t take me long to realize that I was going to be of no help to anyone until I had some comforting myself.
It was hard opening up to people about what was going on with Dad’s health. First of all, I really didn’t understand a lot of what was happening; secondly, talking about it made things seem more real and the pain became deeper somehow. In talking with my husband, Mike, I began to accept that this had to be our new reality and that God would guide us through it.
When I began to talk to him, I don’t think I used any words. I remember just crying uncontrollably, but having him there beside me was all I needed. Once I could talk, I told him how scared I was and that I didn’t know what I was supposed to be doing. How would I ever smile or laugh again knowing that Dad had cancer? I would see people walking down the halls of the hospital living their normal lives, wondering if I would ever have that again. I needed to admit to myself that there is still beauty in life, even in the face of the toughest adversity.
People want to be there to support you in hard times, you just have to let them, but on your own terms. You’ll know when you’re ready to talk and how much you feel like sharing. The important thing to remember is that others really do care and might be just as confused as to how to help you as you are about asking for their assistance. Pray about it and let God lead the way. He will always lead you where you need to go.
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