Category: Family
Daughter & Father Keep Hope Alive During Fight Against Mesothelioma
Some individuals are just positive people; it’s how they are! No matter what is thrown at them or what comes their way, they have the ability to make the best of things. This, in turn, helps those around them to be optimistic, too.
My Dad was one of those people. Many individuals ask me how my family stayed so upbeat (for the most part) during our experience with mesothelioma. The simple answer was, “Dad.” When the person who has been diagnosed with this disease is the one reassuring everyone else that things will be ok, it’s hard to believe otherwise. This is not to say that I didn’t have my moments, but there was more light in my days than I expected during this time.
Some may think that I was naïve to think this way, but it was how I chose to handle it. I believe that attitude can have a direct effect on outcome, so why not think the best! Even on the days when I felt the most sadness and anxiety about Dad’s illness, he would always tell me that he would be ok. God would take care of him and all of us as well.
Going through life thinking the worst must be exhausting. Life is a challenge, bringing with it ups and downs that you may never be prepared for. But we are also meant to make the best of what we are given. Dad inspired me to always look for the best in every situation and it has truly changed my entire outlook on the world. There is inherent good in people, there is hope when all seems dark, and there is love where you couldn’t imagine it could ever be found. Never give up hope, God will always be there!
Remembering Dad on His Birthday After Losing to Mesothelioma
I write this on what would have been my father’s 61st birthday. I write this with a broken heart and tear-stained cheeks. I write this as a daughter who lost her hero to the terrible clutches of mesothelioma.
Normally, Dad’s birthday would have been full of fun. Phone calls, visits, food, and a game with my great aunt (who spent her wedding anniversary waiting for him to be born) to see who would call to give their well wishes first! Now, in a stark, different reality, I find myself alone with my thoughts, imagining what today would have been like.
I imagine that today would have been spent with family as usual, but with the beautiful addition of his two-year-old granddaughter. The laughter that always accompanied time spent with my Dad would have been amplified with him enjoying her antics and singing our song, “You Are My Sunshine.”
Today should have been a day of celebrating Dad’s life with him present, not lovingly remembering him in the past. Thankfully, I have so many beautiful memories with him to always carry with me, but I will always mourn for those left unmade. Empty chairs, songs without a voice, and hearts broken, all because of mesothelioma.
Mary Hesdorffer Moves on from Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation
Recently, I received a letter in the mail from Mary Hesdorffer, Executive Director of the Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation.
In it, she announced her upcoming retirement. Instantly, I felt a mix of emotions. I am so happy for her to begin this new chapter in her life but, at the same time, sad that she will be stepping down. She assured us of her continued dedication and involvement to the mesothelioma community, and we are certainly glad to hear that.
Mary was one of the first people I spoke with when we were told of my Dad’s diagnosis. She was not only a wealth of knowledge, but a listening ear as I voiced my confusion and concerns.
Over the years, she has remained in close contact, checking in at pivotal points in my father’s treatment and progression, and as a friend.
I know that there are countless others who can share my same story of Mary’s compassionate, caring nature that comes effortlessly to her.
She has been a mentor to many and helped patients and their families through the most trying times in their lives.
I hope that this amazing woman knows how much she means to my family, and I know I speak on behalf of everyone she has interacted with that she will be missed, but we wish her all the best.
You have been an inspiration, Mary, and we promise to continue the work you’ve done to ensure that we find a cure for mesothelioma, once and for all.
Enjoy the Beauty of Easter Season
The Easter season is upon us once again, and with it comes a time of hope, beauty, and renewed faith. Now is a wonderful time to sit and reflect on what this time can mean to someone, and their family, battling mesothelioma.
It is a great time to look around you and count your many blessings. Take a look at your loved ones and be sure to recognize their love for you as well. The weather is turning warmer; spend some time outside and look at God’s beautiful creation!
It is so important to take the time to realize that families who are faced with a mesothelioma diagnosis are still very real people. They should never be defined by this disease, nor should they be treated differently. Allow yourself to be close to them, invite them to take a walk or go for a drive in the warmth of nature. Ask them if they would like some company, but always let them dictate the length of the visit; they may be tired, or they may feel like chatting for hours!
New life abounds in so many ways at this season of the year; remember that in every season of life, there is beauty to be found.
Appreciate & Respect Your Father while He’s Still Here
Last night, my husband and I were on a date… to the grocery store. (We’re quite glamorous that way!) I was walking down an aisle when I noticed a man standing in the middle of it with his cart. His daughter, who must have been in her 20s was with him, helping him choose some brownies from the shelf. I heard her say, in an angry tone, “So you like these ones!” She then noticed me, as I was waiting to go around her father, and proceeded to yell, “Dad, you’re in the way!” I told him that it was no trouble, and mumbled under my breath as I passed the girl, “Don’t talk to him that way.” As they were leaving the aisle, I saw the gentleman looking as though he were a schoolboy who had been scolded by the teacher. As I heard her bellow, “Anything else?”, tears filled my eyes.
I managed to hold it together for the remainder of our shopping, but the second we got into our vehicle, the tears started to flow. My husband looked at me, confused. I told him what I witnessed. I am a pretty non-confrontational person, but never in my life had I wanted to say something so badly; I wish she had heard my mumbled disapproval. I started to think of what I would have said if she had responded.
I knew exactly what it would have been:
“Miss, you don’t know how good you have it. You don’t know what you’re doing. You see, I lost my Dad three years ago to an awful disease and I would give anything to have the chance to grocery shop with him. Sure, I know that things can get frustrating at times, but this man that you’re here with, he matters. You might feel like you’d rather be anywhere else, but from my perspective, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now. You’re wasting a precious opportunity to make memories with your father, and you can’t get these moments back.”
“Look at your Dad’s face. Can’t you see that you’re hurting him? Be patient with him. He probably looked at this outing as some great bonding time between a father and daughter, but instead, he is left with complete and utter disappointment.”
“I’ll pray for him tonight; I’ll pray that he finds comfort. And I’ll pray for you. My prayer for you, young woman who thinks you are too grown up for your Dad, is that you never have to know the kind of heartbreak and heartache that I do. I’ll pray that God helps you to remember how good you do have it, and to appreciate it every day.”
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