Thank a Mesothelioma Caregiver During National Family Caregivers Month

November is National Family Caregivers Month. This is a great time to recognize and thank those countless faces who sacrifice so much to take care of their loved one. As a former part-time caregiver myself, I have both experienced, seen, and felt the beauty and the pain of taking on this role.

During my time caring for my father as he fought mesothelioma, I gained a new appreciation for caregivers. They are there 24 hours a day, doing whatever needs done without batting an eye. You’re hungry… no problem. Need a blanket? Here’s two. Not feeling well… already on the phone with the doctor. It is an intense undertaking.

On the other side of the aisle, so to speak, the love that you get to share with the person you’re caring for is indescribable. When you help someone with no expectation of getting anything in return, that’s when you really feel like you’re making a difference. I remember the quiet, “Thanks, Kiddo” that Dad always said when I helped him. The way you could just tell that you made him feel special, loved, and cared for; it was something I will always remember.

So, to everyone out there caring for someone, I say thank you. You play a pivotal role in the life of your loved one. Don’t think for one second that it’s not noticed or appreciated, because deep down, that person knows they need you. They may be too proud to say it, but the feelings are there in their heart. You are important! After all… there’s a whole month celebrating you!

Your Mesothelioma Medical Team Is On Your Side

People can play different roles in your life, and those roles can change dramatically based on the circumstances. The same goes for your doctors and medical team. While my father battled pleural mesothelioma, these amazing people went from strangers to confidants to friends.

When Dad was first diagnosed, we were complete strangers to all of the team. I remember in our first meeting with Dr. Harvey Pass, he entered the room and I immediately felt at ease. Hearing from someone who was optimistic and believed that he could really help was a welcome breath of fresh air. We had come off of the worst news of our lives and were given little hope until he entered the picture.

Once surgery was completed, we continued on with more and more practitioners who specialized in an area of need. They each treated us like real people, and counseled us on what steps were necessary moving forward, and joined in celebrations when the scans were clear.

I will always remember the office of my father’s primary care physician. The morning after he passed away, we were still working on notifying everyone when we got a call from them. They asked me if they could speak to my Dad; when I had to tell them that he was gone, the woman on the other end of the phone broke down in tears, saying, “Honey, I’m so sorry. I really liked your Dad,” then quickly hung up without saying goodbye. Moments later, the doctor called, asking what had happened and offering the most sincere condolences. The staff later joined us at the viewing and funeral, and still check in with us today.

Always remember that your medical team is on your side. They will be with you through your entire struggle and can even become friends. I appreciate all those who treated my father, and also me and my family, although it was in a different way. We thank you from the bottoms of our hearts.

I Wish I Could Have Frozen Time Without Mesothelioma

I can’t believe that the lives of my family have been affected by mesothelioma for over five years. It’s impossible for me to believe that Dad has been gone for four of them. Where has the time gone?

Over these past 5 ½ years, my family has undergone many changes. Life continues on even though it feels as though time is stagnant. I remember in the days immediately following my father’s diagnosis walking through the halls of the hospital. I watched people smile, wondering how they could be happy in the same time that my life was falling apart. Patients were being discharged onto a full recovery; as happy as I was for them, I couldn’t help but wonder what shape my Dad’s life was going to take.

Knowing what I do now, I would have liked to fast forward time to three months later and freeze it with Dad at that point. He had a clean bill of health; no evidence of disease on his scans, and getting stronger every day after the ravaging effects of chemotherapy. He was happy, and hopeful that life would go on as if meso had never entered his life. If I could have kept him that way forever, I would have. But we all know that’s not possible.

Don Smitley and Jennifer Gelsick

Looking at things from a rational point of view, we have to find a way to understand that, although time marches on, our memories, these moments frozen in time, can stay with us forever. We can choose to focus on the best of times instead of our hardest struggles. Keep those memories close to your heart; it is how I am choosing to remember my father, just the way he would have wanted.

Four Years After Losing My Father to Mesothelioma It Still Hurts

“I love you so much, it hurts.” It’s something that I’ve heard throughout my life. But what does that really mean? How is it possible to love someone in such a way that it causes you pain? When I stop and think about it though, it makes perfect sense.

I loved Dad so much, that when he was diagnosed with mesothelioma, it broke me apart inside. I cared so deeply that watching him endure treatments caused me intense agony. I treasured him, causing inexplicable anxiety when it was time for his quarterly scans. I loved him so much, it hurt.

October 15 marks four years since I lost my father. The pain of loving and losing him follows me each and every day. It’s a feeling that never fades, but is sometimes overshadowed by the life continuing on around me. You can’t escape the hurt of such a profound loss… but do you really want to?

This must seem like a terrible question to pose. Do you want the pain of losing someone you love to go away? Of course, you don’t want to feel it forever in the same way you do the moment you hear the news. You don’t want to be crippled by it. At the same time, you don’t want to forget it. That pain means that someone touched your life, touched your heart. It shows that they truly meant something to you.

Each time I start to feel that pain, I stop to think of the reason behind it. I feel sadness and grief because I loved someone, and they loved me. I have an aching in my heart because, even though there is a piece missing, it was occupied by a person who believed in me and lifted me up. The tears I cry are shed for a purpose, I miss someone who shaped me. What a blessing to have had someone like that in my life.

I loved… no, I love my Dad so much, it hurts. Putting a past tense on that feeling seems wrong in some way. Just because he is no longer here with me, doesn’t lessen who he was as a person or the impact he had on me. He lived by example, a beautiful trait that I hope to pass on with my daughter. He carried himself with grace and humility, even while carrying a cross as heavy as his disease. He loved so much, it hurt… I am grateful to have been a recipient of such a love.

September 26 Is National Mesothelioma Awareness Day

Each year, the mesothelioma community across the nation comes together for Mesothelioma Awareness Day, a time devoted to raising public awareness about the life-threatening cancer and its cause ─ exposure to asbestos.

Patients, family members, friends, advocates and health care professionals are encouraged to share their personal stories, struggles and inspiration in order to bring attention to the disease and further the search for a cure.

When Is Mesothelioma Awareness Day?

Mesothelioma Awareness Day is held on Sept. 26. In 2018, September 26 falls on a Wednesday.

In an effort to expand the impact of Mesothelioma Awareness Day, advocates have encouraged patients, caregivers, family and friends to participate in Mesothelioma Awareness Week surrounding Sept. 26, as well as Mesothelioma Awareness Month throughout September.

Mesothelioma Awareness Day History

In 2004, the Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation organized the original Mesothelioma Awareness Day. Since then, the national nonprofit organization has continued to build momentum by promoting the day as a time for all those touched by the cancer to talk about its impact.

In 2010, Congress joined the effort by establishing Mesothelioma Awareness Day as a time for the nation to recognize that thousands of Americans are diagnosed with the preventable cancer each year. In fact, despite its designation as a known carcinogen, asbestos is still not banned in the United States, and Americans are still at risk of exposure.

The Importance of Awareness Day

The National Mesothelioma Awareness Day resolution asks that the President of the United States issue a proclamation calling for all Americans, federal agencies and departments, state governments, local municipalities, organizations, and news media to properly observe the day.

The Congressional Declaration outlines these key facts about malignant mesothelioma as reasons for promoting awareness of the deadly asbestos cancer:

Although workers who were exposed to asbestos on a daily basis over a long period of time are most at risk of developing mesothelioma, even short-term exposures can cause the disease. In fact, exposure to asbestos for as little as one month can result in mesothelioma 20 to 50 years later.
Asbestos materials were used in the construction of virtually all office buildings, public schools, and homes built before 1975. Still today, asbestos is used in more than 3,000 products being sold in the United States.
The National Institutes of Health reported to Congress in 2006 that mesothelioma is a difficult disease to detect, diagnose and treat.
For decades, the need to develop treatments for mesothelioma was overlooked. Still today, even the best mesothelioma treatments usually have a very limited effect, with the expected survival time of 8 to 14 months.
It is believed that many of the firefighters, rescue workers and police officers from Ground Zero on September 11, 2001, may be at increased risk of developing mesothelioma in the future due to asbestos exposure at the site.

Every year, about 3,000 people in the United States are diagnosed with mesothelioma. Around the world, an estimated 38,400 people die each year from the devastating asbestos illness.

Unfortunately, those numbers are not dwindling. Mesothelioma statistics indicate an increase in deaths in recent years, with an 8 percent increase in fatalities in the United States for the 10-year period that ended in 2015.

These facts point to the importance of Mesothelioma Awareness Day in educating people about the dangers of asbestos and promoting the need for continued research into more effective treatments.

Paint the World in Mesothelioma Awareness

Just as breast cancer is associated with the color pink, support for mesothelioma awareness is often represented by a colored ribbon. The mesothelioma awareness color is blue or pearl.

Friends and family members of patients typically don pearl or blue ribbons in a show of solidarity with their loved ones who are fighting the life-threatening disease.

The Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation also encourages people to participate in its “Paint the World in Mesothelioma Blue” campaign to raise awareness by wearing blue and sharing photos of themselves on social media.

How You Can Show Support on Mesothelioma Awareness Day

Since its founding, the nonprofit Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation has advocated for patients and families while coordinating fundraising events to support research efforts related to the disease. This national organization is committed to finding a cure for mesothelioma and ending the suffering it causes.

One way to show your support on Mesothelioma Awareness Day is to make a donation to the Meso Foundation. Your contribution will help fund the organization’s efforts to support mesothelioma patients and the ongoing search for a cure.

You may also choose to show your support by wearing (and asking others to wear):

Mesothelioma awareness ribbons
Mesothelioma awareness pins
Mesothelioma awareness bracelets
Mesothelioma awareness wristbands
Mesothelioma awareness shirts

At Mesothelioma Help Cancer Organization, we aim to raise awareness year-round, in particular through our Mesothelioma Awareness Scholarship Contest. As part of this contest, students submit essays sharing their own experiences with mesothelioma as well as their efforts for raising awareness of the dangers of asbestos. We encourage the students to share their essays on social media to help spread the word.

Quick Facts to Share on Mesothelioma Awareness Day

Asbestos is the only known cause of mesothelioma. It has also been shown to cause lung cancer.
Asbestos was commonly used on Navy ships and in shipyards. Veterans account for approximately one-third of mesothelioma diagnoses.
Industrial workers and construction workers are at an increased risk of developing mesothelioma and other asbestos diseases.
Family members of those who worked with asbestos may have faced secondhand exposure through fibers brought home on clothing or skin.
Although the U.S. government has safety regulations in place, it has not banned the use of asbestos.
There is no safe level of asbestos exposure.
Renovation projects on older homes and demolition of older buildings can put people at risk of asbestos exposure.
Never try to remove asbestos materials on your own. Contact an asbestos abatement professional.
Companies that made asbestos products understood the health risks but failed to warn the public.
Mesothelioma patients and families may be entitled to compensation for damages due to asbestos exposure.
Even if an asbestos company has gone out of business, funds may be available in a bankruptcy trust for mesothelioma victims.

Sources:

Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation
https://www.curemeso.org/get-involved/get-involved-events/mesothelioma-awareness-day
Make a Donation
https://www.curemeso.org/donate

Category: Family