Category: Family
Dad’s Presence at Christmas Was The Best Present
Anyone who knew my father knew that he loved Christmas! The snow, the family time, the togetherness, and the true meaning of the season made his usual smile sparkle even more. It was always a magical time for Dad and my entire family.
On Christmas morning, once presents were open, he always had something up his sleeve. Somewhere, hidden in the house, was a big present that no one else knew about. I always looked forward to this; not the gift itself, but his excitement in knowing that he was about to surprise us. It was fun, absolutely, but it wasn’t what mattered. It was his presence, not the present, that was important.
Christmas of 2011 was a rough one for us all. Dad was going downhill quickly, and no one knew why. Doctors were stumped, we were sad, and it was clear to everyone that he may not be around for much longer. Still, he tried his best to push through his exhaustion, shortness of breath, and pain, and smiled. That year, however, there was a sadness behind it.
Fast forward to 2012. Dad was finally correctly diagnosed that year, had his surgery, chemotherapy, and a clinical trial, and was feeling great! I think this might have been the happiest I had ever seen him on Christmas. He laughed, joked, ate, and of course, surprised us all, as per usual! I will always remember his smile that day; he had been given a gift from God, and it was written all over his face.
The next year, 2013, everything was different. We were celebrating our first Christmas without my father, the glue who held us all together, only about two months after he passed away. We did our best to keep our traditions as normally as possible, only to find ourselves at a loss. We realized that Dad wouldn’t want that, so we tried to pick ourselves up and remember the reason for this day. God’s promise. The beauty of Jesus’ birth.
This year, we’ll be celebrating again, as we do each year. The addition of my three year old daughter adds a beautiful light, and looking into her blue-green eyes that look just like Dad’s, I remember all the memories I made, particularly on Christmas, with my angel father. I am reminded of the importance of family and the message of Christmas. We continue on, never forgetting, but keeping Dad’s memory close to our hearts.
Support Mesothelioma Charities on #givingtuesday
Each year, the Tuesday after Thanksgiving is the Global Day of Giving. This year, that day falls on November 28. It is a beautiful endeavor inspiring people and businesses to give to a charity or cause of their choice during the holiday season (and before the end of the year).
This year on “#GivingTuesday” consider joining in with countless others and make a donation to something that matters to you. The Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation is a worthy recipient of your gift and would really appreciate your help.
This organization has been a Godsend to my family and the families of others going through life faced with a mesothelioma diagnosis. They promote advocacy and research, as well as provide much needed support to the mesothelioma community, one that is all too often forgotten.
Enjoy this Thanksgiving with your loved ones, and encourage them to take part in this wonderful event with you. May God bless you and yours during this time of charity, hope, and love.
Mesothelioma Patients Can Be Thankful for Enjoying the Comforts of Home on Thanksgiving
Dealing with mesothelioma anytime during the year is challenging, but some patients find managing their illness during the holidays even more stressful. If you have been diagnosed with mesothelioma and you are able to be home during the holidays, you may find that simply sitting back and enjoying your own decor and your Thanksgiving Day traditions with friends and family can ease your stress.
The support and joy of family on Thanksgiving “fortifies the spirit” and helps someone battling a serious illness feel less isolated, according to an article from Assisted Home Care, Inc. Having friends and family members stop by for a visit or a meal allows the mesothelioma patient to participate in the festivities along with everyone else.
Other reasons for staying in your own home on Thanksgiving when dealing with cancer include:
- You Get A Break: Taking a break when in your own home is easy. If you are visiting someone else, you could feel like a burden if you have to leave early to rest. At home, however, you can slip away, take a nap, and return to the festivities.
- You Can Educate the Family: The holidays may be the only time of the year you see some of your family members. Instead of trying to hide your illness, use the time as a way to educate them about mesothelioma and the demands it can take on you. This can help everyone better understand your daily struggles and let them better understand how to support you.
- Take the Fear Away from the Youngsters: “Younger family members gain meaningful insight and learn new ways to adjust their own perspective when visiting an ill loved one during the holidays,” according to Assisted Home Care. By visiting you in your home, children will be less afraid of the situation, and can learn about your illness right along with the adults. Seeing how their loved ones are affected by sickness “can inspire compassion and empathy” in the children.
If you are in a mesothelioma treatment program, take advantage of the support services and counseling services offered to help you cope with the holidays. They can give you a healthy perspective on your feelings.
Even if you, or your loved one, are in the hospital over Thanksgiving, taking the time to think of something to be grateful for can lighten the mood. Make sure you let your family members know if you are up for guests. Taking care of yourself is important and knowing when to say “no” is critical to your health and well-being.
Warm wishes for an enjoyable Thanksgiving from all of us at MesotheliomaHelp.
Make Thanksgiving Special In Honor of Your Loved Ones Lost to Mesothelioma
The holidays are a time to be with those you love. A time to laugh, reminisce about old memories, and create new ones that will be added to the collection. My family continues to do this, but with the realization that the group present has changed drastically over the past few years.
Now, there are empty seats at our table; not only my Dad’s, but also those of both of my Grandmothers. We lost all three of them in the last four years. Adjusting to their loss has been challenging on both sides of my family, who are intensely close. There is no division, only one group united in love.
Looking at a Thanksgiving turkey or a beautifully decorated Christmas tree still brings me joy, but it also makes me a bit sad knowing that some loved ones who would always play a hand in them aren’t here to make their usual contributions. There are songs and customs that lack something… someone.
It is never easy to lose a person that you love, someone who has played a pivotal part in your family, and therefore, a vital part in holiday traditions. Even as you carry on, it’s important to honor their memory by doing just that. Continue those things that they introduced you to; what a beautiful way to make their legacy last! Even though the framework may look a bit different at times, the meaning remains the same.
Do them with the same love and fervor that you did together. It will pass on to the next generation as well. Most of all, enjoy this special time with those you love; don’t forget those who are no longer there, but remember them with a grateful, joyful heart.
Reflecting on Five Years of Writing About Mesothelioma
I remember the first time I saw the tribute page to my father, Donnie Smitley, on this site. The pride that I felt, the emotions that barreled through my heart, were immense. It is such a beautiful tribute to this man who was so simple, yet so influential. It was amazing to see this influence, even after his passing.
This is a great time to thank everyone at MesotheliomaHelp for their support and help over these years. It’s hard to believe that I submitted my first blog in October 2012, five years ago! What an honor to have been able to share my family’s story with you for this long. Through my writings, I have had the honor to hear from others in the mesothelioma community who have been through similar situations. I have gotten to be a sounding board, friend, and even an “expert” (although I wouldn’t call myself that), to many.
From the bottom of my heart, please know that the gratitude I feel for this opportunity is sincere. I hope to continue to share for many years to come… until we find a cure for this awful disease.
Visit Don Smitley’s tribute page on MesotheliomaHelp.
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