Category: Family

Planning for Thanksgiving Relieves Stress for Mesothelioma Patients

• Nancy Meredith
• For Your Family

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on all that we are grateful for, to enjoy festive times and to reconnect with our family and friends. However, for families dealing with mesothelioma, the holiday season can be a challenging and stressful time. Many patients may feel like forgetting the holidays while battling cancer, but planning for the days ahead can be healing for them and their family.

Patients and caregivers should communicate openly and honestly with each other about how they would like to handle the holidays. Although neither may be up to enjoying loud celebrations and large meals, they should still consider marking the special day. By talking out their feelings and needs, they will be better able to plan and communicate those plans with other family members and friends.

Consider lightening up around Thanksgiving and the holiday season by forgoing the extravagance of the season, and focusing on enriching relationships and relishing family time. Simpler, quiet times on Thanksgiving may be what is needed to eliminate the temptation to overdo it while still enjoying the holiday.

Realize that even though you may be surrounded by loved ones, you may still feel sad. Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP, wrote in ‘Thankful But Not Happy,’ as you cope with your sickness or a loss over Thanksgiving, “Be gentle with yourself and leave room to embrace all of what you feel.”

“Holidays won’t end all pain and suffering but they can help us restore what we need- to look forward with hope,” Phillips added in ‘Finding the Healing Potential in Holidays.’

Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.

Jennifer Gelsick Reflects Caregiving Rewards

• Nancy Meredith
• Caregiver Stories

Life as a caregiver to a mesothelioma patient can be a trying experience, but now, looking back on the time I spent taking care of my Dad, I realize that there was no place I would have rather been.  I would love to now be able to help Dad with his “fancy” no-slip socks that he had to wear in the hospital or to help him with anything he might need. Time is fleeting, so take advantage of every opportunity to be with your loved ones, no matter whether they have mesothelioma or not.

I remember when I started to help take care of Dad. It was right after he was diagnosed and he had two chest tubes in to drain fluid. Every time he needed to get out of the hospital bed, we had to pick up the drain system and carry it into the bathroom for him. The first time I was asked to carry it, I immediately panicked. Those tubes with that fluid in them…there was no way I could touch them… until I did.

After Dad had his surgery in February of 2012, I helped him walk down the halls in the hotel we were staying in in New York City. I held his arm and was so afraid that I would pull him and then mess up something with his incision. I could not take the pressure… until I did.

All through this process, I questioned myself and how I would handle whatever would happen next. I thought, what if the cancer came back, there would be no way that I could personally go through that again… until I did.

My biggest fear was getting a phone call that Dad was gone. I never truly believed it would happen. I thought that I had played out every possible scenario in my head, but I hadn’t. When I found out that Dad had passed, I knew for a fact that I could never handle it… until I had to.

Being a caregiver is a daunting task, but in retrospect, it was the most rewarding experience I have ever had. My Dad knew how much I loved him, but it was in those times I had the privilege to care for him that I could really show it. He never really asked for anything, but he didn’t have to. He knew that we were there for him, no matter what. You may think, like I did, that it was too much for you and you could never in a million years be able to handle it. But I promise you can. God will give you strength and carry you through. So treasure the time you have with your loved ones, take care of each other, and thank God every day for the opportunity.

Mesothelioma Warrior with Her Last Goodbye

• Joseph Belluck
• Faces of Mesothelioma

Mesothelioma is a cruel cancer. As long as asbestos is still among the everyday items we use or pass, it will keep taking family members to the grave.

Yes, this is a harsh statement, but nevertheless it is true. Until you hear of a family member being struck down with Mesothelioma did you take notice of the warnings of asbestos? Did you listen to the broadcasts made by law firms, perhaps touting for business, but ultimately telling you this stuff is dangerous?

Many people use the statement that Mesothelioma is a rare cancer. What is rare about a disease that takes more than 3,000 people a year? What is rare is the fact that not more than one or two cases per year may appear at the same doctor’s clinic or hospital, but that doesn’t make it rare as a killer.

Because Mesothelioma has been thrown on the backburner for people who undergo the journey of trying to survive, most sufferers now turn to support networks where others understand the terrible way this cancer can act.

You can have a CT scan in June saying your disease is Inactive and Stable, two weeks later that same cancer could have reignited itself and grown over 1 cm around the lung. On the other hand you could be told you will die in less than 6 months, but this same cancer may decide to stay stable for that period of time. The only person who can really say what is happening, once the mesothelioma has come to life, is the patient. They feel the growth of this terrible disease; they understand that when their breathing is becoming laboured the mesothelioma is growing. But diagnosing time is something none of us can do.

Mesothelioma isn’t like any other cancer – it is sly and quiet as it invades the lung, abdomen, pericardium or even testicles. Unbeknownst to many it has sat quietly in their organs waiting for the day it would breathe itself and set off on a journey of destruction throughout your body.

The mesothelioma community is shocked on a daily basis because someone who was fit and well two months ago is now fighting for their lives in a hospital room. No one has a chance to work out the final goodbyes because it can and does take you so fast.

We have discussed on these insights about Near End of Life Wishes, but would we want to say Goodbye too early to our loved ones when we could just be fighting a quick chest infection and thinking the worst.

A late friend has given me a good idea, hard at explaining his own feelings he spent hours looking for the perfect cards with the right words. He left these for his devoted wife for when he died, he knew that this would be his goodbye without actually having to say those words or be prepared to do so when he was fighting for his last breath.

I would hate to think I am lying on my death bed and not saying the correct words to ease my loves heart, likewise I doubt he would forgive himself if he left me without saying I Love You. But just in case I go when he is asleep I hope he will find a nice stack of cards written with the words I was not able to express with those last breaths I took.

Friends and Family Gather to Remember Mesothelioma Patient Don Smitley

• Joseph Belluck
• Faces of Mesothelioma, Family, Mesothelioma

Jennifer Gelsick has been writing blogs about life for her family as her father, Don Smitley, battled mesothelioma. Sadly, Mr. Smitley passed away last month. Jennifer returns to MesotheliomaHelp with a different perspective on the impact of mesothelioma. She hopes her new perspective will help those with mesothelioma live for the day and cherish every moment of life.

As I sit down to write, I am now a completely different person writing from a different place.  I have joined the part of the mesothelioma community who has lost a loved one to this terrible disease.

My amazing father, Donnie Smitley, passed away on October 15, 2013, at the age of 57. These last few weeks have been a blur for my family and for me as we attempt to adjust to this “new normal” of life without him. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel him with me, just in a different way. We are coping as best we can and appreciate the expressions of love and support that we have received more than you can imagine.

The support began immediately after I got the call from my husband telling me that Dad had stopped breathing. A friend who lives close by came to be with me until Mike got home. Another friend drove us the three hours to my parent’s house. Countless people brought food, sent cards and flowers, and visited us. The outpouring of love was overwhelming, but in a good way.

The days of the viewing were full of family members, friends, and acquaintances sharing condolences and wonderful stories of my Dad. It was amazing to me to see the huge number of people who recognized how special Dad really was. At the funeral, bluegrass music was sung, stories were shared, and an amazing message was delivered. The main point: Dad was a man of relationships. How true – his relationships with his family, friends, and most importantly, God.

Throughout the three days we spent at the funeral home and at the Church, I realized that with someone as amazing as Dad, we shouldn’t have been surprised that God needed him back so soon. We should just be grateful that He let us keep him as long as He did. Dad was truly an angel here on earth, and now has his wings in Heaven.

Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.

Extended Stay America Offers Free Rooms to Mesothelioma Patients Undergoing Treatment

• Nancy Meredith
• For Your Family

Many people diagnosed with mesothelioma choose to travel to larger cities where mesothelioma specialists are available to offer the latest treatments. The cost for this can be prohibitive, however, for some. Thanks to support from the American Cancer Society and Extended Stay America, patients and their families undergoing cancer treatment now have a place to stay for free.

In an Oct. 21 press release, the American Cancer Society announced that Extended Stay America will “provide 10,000 free nights and 10,000 discounted nights in its hotels to cancer patients who must travel to another city to receive treatment.” Beginning November 1, the rooms will be available in Atlanta, Boston, and Houston, and will be rolled out to other cities in early 2014. The 10,000 rooms at a discounted rate of $12 per night will be offered at 684 locations in the US.

“With cancer impacting everyone’s life in some way, we’re proud to partner with the American Cancer Society to provide the key to hope for patients battling cancer so they can focus on their fight,” said Jim Donald, chief executive officer at Extended Stay America.

Mesothelioma is a rare, incurable disease, not often seen by many oncologists. For optimal treatment, patients are encouraged to receive care from a mesothelioma specialist. A physician who specializes in treating mesothelioma patients has first-hand experience in treatment and diagnosis, as well as information on clinical trials and current studies in the field. More often than not, that specialist is in another city.

Boston and Houston both offer renowned mesothelioma centers. The University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center of Houston, which “cares for more patients with mesothelioma than almost any other center in the United States,” houses the Mesothelioma Program. The Program has over 30 experts representing the areas of thoracic surgery, thoracic medical oncology, radiation, pulmonary, and pathology – all with an expertise dedicated and focused on mesothelioma. Anne Tsao, M.D., associate professor in MD Anderson’s Department of Thoracic/Head and Neck Medical Oncology and director of its Mesothelioma Program is one of the leading authorities of mesothelioma in the United States.

Dr. David Sugarbaker, Chief, Division of Thoracic Surgery, founder and Director of the International Mesothelioma Program, Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, is one of the world’s leading authorities on treating mesothelioma. Dr. Sugarbaker founded the International Mesothelioma Program at Brigham and has dedicated his career to treating malignant pleural mesothelioma and to improving mesothelioma patients’ survival rates.

The American Cancer Society already runs and manages the Hope Lodge that “offers cancer patients and their caregivers a free place to stay when their best hope for effective treatment may be in another city,” according to the ACS website. There are 31 Hope Lodge locations throughout the United States, including New York and 22 other states.

Jennifer Gelsickwrote a glowing review of the Hope Lodge in New York City where her father, Don Smitley, and her mother were able to stay during Smitley’s treatment for mesothelioma. Smitley traveled from Pennsylvania to NYC to receive treatment from Dr. Harvey Pass of NYU Langone Medical Center and Dr. Lee Krug of Memorial-Sloan Kettering Cancer Center.

“My family has benefitted greatly from the services offered by the Hope Lodge,” said Ms. Gelsick. “God bless all those involved in the Hope Lodge program, and thank you on behalf of all families and patients you’ve encountered!”

For more information about the Hope Lodge or Extended Stay America programs, call the American Cancer Society at 1-800-227-2345 or visit them on-line.

http://www.cancer.org/treatment/supportprogramsservices/hopelodge/index