Category: Family
Ask Jennifer: What Mesothelioma Symptoms Did Your Father Have?
It seems like people who are diagnosed with mesothelioma all have a different story as to how their symptoms appeared. For my Dad, it began in the Summer of 2011, when he started having trouble catching his breath. He chalked it up to the extreme heat that we had that year, continued working and didn’t miss a beat.
His difficulty breathing continued to get more severe. He said he knew that there was something really wrong when we were walking outside in the Fall and he had to stop and take a break. He began to lose weight and was unbearably tired all of the time.
Because of his exhaustion, his personality even began to change. His usually unshakable, bubbly demeanor gave way to one of concern and fatigue. He would go to work, come home and take care of his ailing mother, and that was it. This man who was always ready to go was now increasingly becoming a homebody.
By the time Dad was finally diagnosed, he had lost around 30 pounds. He was struggling to work and continue on with daily activities. Once he had his pleurectomy, on February 15, 2012, he seemed like a different person. The lining of his lung was removed, and he became more like his old self immediately, having almost a new lease on life.
Everyone has a varying story with their symptoms and treatment, but this is the experience my family went through. We are thankful that he was correctly diagnosed and treated so quickly by amazing doctors and medical professionals.
Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.
Battling Pneumonia and Mesothelioma
In my previous blog I talked about keeping Dad as healthy as possible and away from germs that could be brought into the house while he recovered from his chemotherapy. Sometimes it’s impossible to know how someone was exposed to germs that makes them sick, but unfortunately, this past summer that’s exactly what happened to my father. He developed pneumonia and was very quickly on his way to the hospital.
This was a very scary thing to happen to him. It was early June when my mom had to take him to the emergency room because he could not breathe, and he was having very violent coughing attacks. He was also at the very end of his chemotherapy treatment when he landed himself in the hospital, so his immune system was already suppressed and he was very weak.
I received the phone call from my mother on a Friday to let me know they were at the hospital, but at that exact time they did not even know what was going on. She told me to stay put and she would keep me updated. I kept in contact the entire weekend while simultaneously training for my new summer job at the local yacht club – all the while hiding how upset I was. Sunday morning I got a call from my mom, and the doctor had requested I come home to see him.
I was very scared to hear this from his doctor in the ICU. He had said that they were going to have to intubate Dad, and I might not be able to talk to him again. This was serious, and they did not know if he would recover because of how run down his body was from the chemo treatments.
I raced home first thing and went straight to the hospital. When I got there, the doctors had decided that they were going to be able to get away with not putting Dad on a ventilator after all, which was amazing news. From the time that I left the shore and the time it took me to get home, his vitals were stabilizing and he seemed to be getting a little better. I sat with him all day Sunday and talked to him, with him not responding of course, but it made me feel better and I think it made him feel better that I was there.
Dad was in the hospital for another week or so and was finally released to come home. He had an appointment with his University of Pennsylvania doctors within a few days after he left the local hospital near my parent’s home. His doctors at Penn had told him that he could not finish the chemotherapy because of how sick he got and it was to the point where his body was unable to fight off a sickness by itself. This showed that the chemo totally knocked his white blood cell count to almost nothing and he could no longer fight off germs. His new goal was to get stronger and healthier before the next step: immunotherapy.
Keep reading next week about how Dad and I were able to put mesothelioma on hold, at least for a week, while we enjoyed a vacation at the Shore.
‘Hellos from Heaven’ Keep Me Going
In the middle of the night last night, I woke up and instantly began to cry. My husband asked me what was wrong and I answered, “It was Dad.” In my dream, my Dad was here, but we didn’t know for how long. He was singing with his band. The song was a song about faith, one that I had never heard before, but it was complete in my dream. The image and sounds are embedded into my brain.
I then went in to check on our two month old baby girl and I began to cry all over again. She looks just like Dad and sometimes, when I look into her eyes, it’s like he’s staring back at me. A flood of emotions overtook me; they were a combination of sadness, love, and gratitude.
Even though the sting of losing Dad remains with me at all times, reminders like those I experienced last night reaffirm that he’s always with me. These little miracles tend to bring me to tears at first, but once I regain my strength, I am so grateful to have them.
They always say that God works in mysterious ways, ways that we have no way of understanding. Perhaps it’s the mystery of these unexpected “Hellos from Heaven” that astound me the most. I believe that God provides these gifts to show us His love, that His hand is in everything.
Dad always talked about the beauty of the world and everyday life. What may seem like an ordinary day is full of wonder and miracles. We just need to open our eyes to see them. So many times, we are too busy with the hustle and bustle that we forget to stop and look around. Even when he was feeling his worst, Dad reminded me that there was good in every situation.
Time is not guaranteed to any of us, and it is important to recognize that. Life is too short to spend it being inconsiderate or rude. There are far too many chances to be kind; take them. Find the good, and when you get a “Hello from Heaven” be sure to take a minute and cherish it.
Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.
Resolve to Support the Mesothelioma Community in 2015
The new year inevitably brings with it New Year’s resolutions. Some people resolve to help others – what a great idea! Here are five ways that you can help the mesothelioma community, advocating for patients and their families, and honoring those who have lost their fight.
- Hold a fundraiser! It can be anything from a collection day to a 5k walk and run; trust me, it doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. Hosting an event raises both awareness and funds for mesothelioma research and support.
- Attend a conference! Each year, the Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation holds a conference where personal stories, new research information, and general knowledge is shared. This is a great way to connect with others and to learn more about the disease that you can share.
- Talk to people! Tell your story. Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to let people know how mesothelioma has impacted your life. This can encourage them to get involved and help the cause as well.
- Write to your local representatives. Find out who your local representative is and write to them, asking for stricter laws regarding asbestos – ask for it to be made illegal as it is in many other countries. Talk to your friends and relatives and urge them to do the same.
- Pray! Prayer is powerful – never underestimate it. Keep those battling this disease and those close to them in your prayers. It means more to them than you know.
Enjoy 2015! Let’s make this the year where a cure is found and this awful cancer can be eradicated forever!
Give Up the Doubting to Find Peace
My father lost his battle with mesothelioma on October 15, 2013. When he passed away, I instantly started thinking about what more I could have done to help him. Was there another treatment we didn’t know about? Did he need something that we weren’t able to give him? After a long time, I found peace in knowing that we honestly did everything that we could and that Dad knew and appreciated that. Finding a sense of forgiveness in myself took some time.
It’s easy to place blame on yourself when you lose somebody you love to cancer, or wonder whether you could have done more to help them. Could I have recognized the symptoms sooner? Did I do enough research? Was the treatment enough or the right one? Did I do everything in my power to prevent losing him?
Unfortunately, these questions can cause you a lot of pain and heartache, but I think that the “what-ifs” are a natural reaction and part of grief. However, the wondering won’t get you anywhere. It will take time, but it’s important to realize that your love and support were enough for your loved one.
In my Dad’s case, all he wanted was for us to spend time together and to know how much he loved us. We never doubted that love for one second and we know that he felt ours in return. These are the important thoughts and memories that will allow you to eventually look back with a smile and know that your love carried them through and that they will never be forgotten.
Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.
Free Mesothelioma Patient & Treatment Guide
We’d like to offer you our in-depth guide, “A Patient’s Guide to Mesothelioma,” absolutely free of charge.
It contains a wealth of information and resources to help you better understand the condition, choose (and afford) appropriate treatment, and exercise your legal right to compensation.
Download Now