Category: Family
The Inconvenience of Mesothelioma
It was a Sunday afternoon. My husband and I had just gotten to my parent’s house and were planning to go to the hospital with them the next morning for Dad’s procedure. They were going to go in, find out what was causing the fluid in his lungs, fix it or come up with a treatment plan. He was going to be in the hospital a couple of days, come home, and be fine. Mike and I were going to leave for home on Wednesday and participate in a home show on Thursday. Everything was supposed to be fine.
The procedure was over and the surgeon took me and my family into a private room. I looked at Mike and said, “This isn’t good.” The doctor gently delivered the news that would forever change our lives. “It looks like a mesothelioma.” At the time, I didn’t understand what that meant, but once the reality sunk in, I began crying and shaking uncontrollably. As I peered around the room and saw the looks in everyone’s eyes, I knew that this battle had just begun and that everything was going to be different from here on out.
Mesothelioma began its reign over our lives. Every waking moment and the majority of my dreams were consumed by it. I thank God that we had some truly miraculous moments during our journey with this awful cancer, but it was still always at the fronts of our minds.
When Dad lost his battle to the disease on October 15, 2013, he was freed of mesothelioma; those of us left behind were not. The remnants of mesothelioma are seen in my family and me every single day. There is always a bit of sadness, missing Dad and wishing he were here for every moment. There is an empty place at the table, an empty rocking chair, and an emptiness in every conversation where his laugh should be interjected.
Mesothelioma is so many things. One thing it is for sure is an inconvenience… not necessarily in the traditional sense of the word, but in a harsher way. Our lives were changed and impacted in ways we could never have prepared ourselves for. This disease is a game changer, and not for the better.
Waiting and Praying for a Cure for Mesothelioma
Patience is a virtue; this phrase has been repeated to millions of people, millions of times, for millions of different reasons. For mesothelioma patients, their families and loved ones, the waiting is often the hardest part.
There is a lot of waiting involved in a battle with mesothelioma. You wait for test results, you wait in doctor’s offices, you wait to feel some relief, you wait for a new treatment option. Ultimately, you wait for a cure.
I spent many hours agonizing over what my Dad’s scans would show. I wanted to know if things were clear; I needed to see that nothing had come back. But once the doctor would walk into the room, I wondered if I would rather hear the results or continue waiting.
The time spent waiting for appointments is trying. You understand that there are other patients who need care, but couple the waiting with anxiety and the result is awful! When Dad would be having a hard day, I would wait for him to feel better. When he was doing well, I would wonder if he would have to experience any more illness. The emotional rollercoaster is never-ending.
Waiting for new treatments and a mesothelioma cure is hard. You pray for it every single day, hoping that the next option will be the one that can eradicate this disease once and for all. Please continue to pray for this. It would be wonderful if all of this waiting could end, and we could all start looking forward to a brighter future, free of mesothelioma forever.
It’s Time to Start Planning for Mesothelioma Awareness Day
Mesothelioma Awareness Day is once again upon us! On September 26, people will come together raising funds and spreading awareness of this awful disease. Remember that together we can make a difference and work to find a cure.
Once again, my family will be putting together a raffle table at Dunbar Community Fest in my Dad’s hometown. We have received donations from family, friends, and businesses who have been extremely generous with their support. All the proceeds will benefit the Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation (www.curemeso.org) who provide support to those impacted by mesothelioma, as well as funds dedicated to research.
What can you do to participate in this special day? The sky is the limit! Hold a fundraiser, talk to someone about mesothelioma and the dangers of asbestos. Anything you can do will provide a positive impact.
Education is an important aspect in the fight against mesothelioma; get involved! Check out The Meso Foundation’s website for more information on events in your area. Help out with one, or start your own! The mesothelioma community appreciates your continued efforts and prayers!
Keep Planning, But Seize the Day When Dealing with Mesothelioma
I am a planner – down to the last little detail. If you can anticipate it, I try to plan for it. When Dad was diagnosed with pleural mesothelioma, all my plans went out the window. Your life and its direction all have to veer toward this awful disease. You realize that things have to change. No one plans on getting mesothelioma. No one plans to alter their lifestyle so completely around good days and bad days.
We learned quickly that we could still make plans, but that they were always subject to change. Dad never wanted to change them, but sometimes, there was no way around it. Learning to be flexible was difficult for me, but it was completely understandable. Dad had to come first.
We continued making plans, looking toward the future. We planned get-togethers, holidays, and birthdays. We looked forward to the next time we would all be together; going out to dinner or to hear Dad play with his band were high on our priority list. Time took on a whole new meaning.
Looking back now, I realize that most of the time, the best things in life are unplanned. Some of the best memories I have with Dad were those quiet, unassuming moments where we would end up doing something silly, laughing uncontrollably. The most meaningful conversations were about nothing, and the greatest trips were those down memory lane.
Living life fully and in the moment is so special, and I learned this valuable lesson during my Dad’s battle with mesothelioma. Never take one second for granted and give your whole self to everything that you do. Plan for the future, but don’t let those plans stand in the way of something greater that God has planned for you. Just live.
Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.
Facing the Fear that Comes with a Mesothelioma Diagnosis
Fear is a unique emotion. It can be crippling or liberating. It can drive you to do better, or it can inhibit all progress. It can bring families together and unite them against a disease, or it can isolate patients with depression and anxiety. As a health care provider, I have seen this emotion take many forms.
According to researchers, there are three major cancer-related fears: the fear of death, the fear of recurrence, and the fear of stigma, which is the fear of being different, being treated differently and being thought of differently.
Knowing about fear, what triggers it in you, and why you react the way you do can help you deal with it. One mesothelioma patient described to me the sleepless nights she faces leading to her yearly check-up. Every possible scenario goes through her head, she is sure that she will be admitted to the hospital and suffer a long painful, debilitating death, far away from family and friends. When this does not happen she is able to put her fears aside until the next check up. What helps her get through this? She has started writing a journal and reading what she has written in the past. This has helped her realize she has been down this road before and come out okay on the other side.
I recently received a phone call from a patient’s wife, whose husband had a recurrence of his cancer. When her husband was diagnosed their world was, understandably, shattered. They had gone through his treatments and had reached a “new normal” in their lives. Although upset about the recurrence, they both felt they were coping better because of their past experiences from initial diagnosis through all the treatments.
It helps to become an expert on your health and mesothelioma to give you some control over a very frightening time that feels totally uncontrollable. Take the fear and learn about it, recognize it and acknowledge it.
In the past, mesothelioma was seen as a “death sentence.” Even with the progress and the encouraging results that many patients have had, the diagnosis and treatment can lead to changes at work, within your family, and in your daily routine. Not wanting your roles in your life to change can also contribute to fear – fear that you will be treated differently.
Mesothelioma, and any cancer, diagnosis is frightening and scary. Learning what triggers your fear and the basis of it can help you better deal with it. Reach out and get some professional help if needed to help you deal with all you are going through. You are not alone!
If you have any questions about any aspect of your mesothelioma care, please email me at [email protected].
Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.
Free Mesothelioma Patient & Treatment Guide
We’d like to offer you our in-depth guide, “A Patient’s Guide to Mesothelioma,” absolutely free of charge.
It contains a wealth of information and resources to help you better understand the condition, choose (and afford) appropriate treatment, and exercise your legal right to compensation.
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