Category: Family
A Fall Festival to Raise Funds for the Meso Foundation
On September 26, Mesothelioma Awareness Day, my family and I held a fundraising booth at our hometown festival in Dunbar, PA. Everyone helped in some way either by donating an item, setting up, working the event, or all of the above! We are so grateful for the generosity of our family, friends, and community who helped to make this event a success.
The weather was beautiful, the company warm, and the patrons ready to purchase tickets for baskets, t-shirts, and the “Mystery Prize!” Many people greeted us with stories about Dad and condolences about our great loss. We heard from people who had worked with my father or just knew him from seeing him around town.
A fundraiser to benefit the Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation was a wonderful way to honor the memory of my father, help others, and to reconnect with friends who care deeply for my family.
Dad loved doing fundraisers before he lost his battle to this terrible disease, and we are proud to carry on the tradition, just as he would have liked. The light from his smile is missing, but the strength of his heart remains.
Remembering The Last Goodbye
My heart breaks as I write today, realizing that it has been two years to the day since the last time I saw my Dad. I remember it very clearly; he was in the hospital that day, supposed to be discharged. We had big plans to order pizza that night to celebrate, and then Mike and I needed to head home. While being evaluated that afternoon, his oxygen kept dropping, prompting the medical staff to cancel his discharge.
I could see the disappointment in Dad’s eyes that day; he wanted so badly to be home in his rocking chair with his dog beside him. Those 19 days he ended up spending in the hospital took a toll on him and he was tired. We made the best of that evening though, ordering out for dinner… well for Mom, my husband, and me. I kept sneaking him some French fries; just another one of our private memories that no one knew about.
When I left the hospital that night, we said goodbye and I started out the door of his room. I happened to turn around and he waved and said, “Bye Jen!” I remember thinking that was so strange; he usually called me anything other than my name (he had a long list of nicknames for me). I blew him a kiss and left the hospital, not realizing that that would be the last time I would see my Dad smile. The last time I would hug him. The last time we would look each other in the eyes and say, “I love you.”
When I stop to think about it, maybe the oddity of him calling me by my name was a gift. Maybe God gave that to me so that I would always remember it and the smile he had on his face when I last saw him. The warmth that Dad exuded was extra present in that moment, as was the love in his eyes.
I miss my Dad every day, but it’s on days like today that it really hits me. Realizing that I’ve had to live without him for almost two years is tough to handle, but I know that he is up in Heaven now, with that same love for me and my family, smiling on us each and every moment.
Heading to the Mountains Allowed Dad to Escape Mesothelioma
I say it all the time, my Dad was so much more than a disease. He should be defined for being an incredible husband, father, brother, and friend. He should be remembered for his character and sense of humor, not as someone who had mesothelioma. Dad never wanted the burden of being ill for himself or anyone else; he wanted to be Donnie, not Donnie who had cancer.
Mesothelioma did not change who my father was. It changed his ability physically, but his personality and values remained unchanged. Most of the time, he just wanted to be away from everything that reminded him of his cancer.
Dad loved spending time in the mountains, and this is where he would go when he wanted to get away from it all. We would take rides, go out for dinner, and stop at scenic overlooks to just take some time to relax. He loved playing bluegrass music with his band; it seemed like when he was on stage, he could let go and just be himself, smiling and singing.
Spending time at home with his family was always high on his priority list. He loved getting lost in old stories and making new memories. But he wasn’t afraid to say that he didn’t want to talk about mesothelioma anymore if it were brought up in conversation. Dad was determined not to let this disease run his life. Life is so much more than one setback, it is the sum of all that you are. Dad’s sum total was a beautiful life and he is loved and missed every single day.
Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.
Ask Jennifer: How to Manage Mesothelioma’s Financial Burden?
Health care is expensive; being treated for mesothelioma is daunting enough without having to consider the financial strain. A lot of meso patients travel for treatment, adding additional expenses to the already large number looming overhead. Sometimes, I fear that the cost may impact someone’s decision to receive the best care available.
When my Dad was diagnosed with pleural mesothelioma, we started on a journey in many ways. One of these journeys was traveling to New York City, eventually making it our second home. Hotel employees knew us by name, servers at restaurants we frequented would talk about seeing friends of ours who had just been there – who were also in NYC for treatment. Life in NYC is expensive as anyone can imagine, but the cost was well worth the benefit for my father.
Starting our trips to NYC, we weren’t sure how we would handle it. Hotel accommodations and meals were a great expense and we were grateful for the gifts and donations that generous family members and friends provided. When Dad needed to stay in the city for six weeks, we were blessed to find that Dad met the criteria to stay at the American Cancer Society’s Hope Lodge; they provided a wonderful place for Mom and Dad at no charge.
Figuring out everything that goes along with a mesothelioma diagnosis can be a huge task, but there are people who can help you. Contact the Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation; they were an unbelievable help to my family. They can provide you with information that can change things for the better.
When considering the cost of cancer care, don’t count out any treatment because of monetary implications. It is well worth researching aid and help that you may be able to receive. After all, you or your loved one’s health is worth more than any dollar amount!
Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.
Mesothelioma Nurses Are Appreciated
There has been a lot of talk in the news lately about the importance of nurses. From personal experience, I have to say that my father’s nurses were an integral part of his mesothelioma treatment and recovery. We cannot thank them enough.
At every stage of Dad’s journey, he needed help from the medical community. There were so many nurses who helped him along the way. From helping him navigate the hallways on walks after procedures, getting him a snack, taking vitals and blood, to just stopping by to say hello on their way home, they were amazing. These nurses went above and beyond their call of duty and treated Dad like a friend, not a medical record number.
The long hours and hard work that these men and women endure are commendable and should not go unnoticed. Working with mesothelioma patients and their families can be trying on every level, as it is both a physical and emotional undertaking. So, on behalf of my family and others in the mesothelioma community, thank you for helping us through the most trying times, and bringing a beautiful balance of professionalism and friendship to our situations.
To all the nurses out there – you are appreciated!
Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.
Free Mesothelioma Patient & Treatment Guide
We’d like to offer you our in-depth guide, “A Patient’s Guide to Mesothelioma,” absolutely free of charge.
It contains a wealth of information and resources to help you better understand the condition, choose (and afford) appropriate treatment, and exercise your legal right to compensation.
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