Category: Family
Help Your Loved Ones Cope With, and Enjoy, Thanksgiving
Mesothelioma patients and their families may be hard-pressed to find anything to be thankful for this time of year. They may be coping with feelings of sadness, depression and fatigue that are contradictory to the festiveness of the season. However, turning their thoughts and conversations to what they still have – friends and family – instead of focusing on their hardships can make a difference in their outlook.
Experts at University of Wisconsin note that the way friends and families interact with their loved ones can make a big difference in a mesothelioma patient’s ability to cope during this time. The holidays can be a tense time for cancer patients, and they may not want to talk about their health or situation. Take the cue from them in guiding the conversation.
Expert Insight
Henry David Thoreau
“I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual.”
Giving someone suffering from mesothelioma a false sense of the future can leave them feeling betrayed when their health begins to fail them. Instead of saying “You’ll be fine,” and “It will be okay,” the UW cancer care team suggest you say or ask the following to help boost their mood:
- “Is there anything I can help you with?”
- “I’m here for you.”
- “Would you like to talk about it?”
- Or simply, “Happy Holidays – it is so nice to see you!”
Even if your loved one is in the hospital over Thanksgiving, taking the time to think of something to be grateful for can lighten the mood. Just sitting quietly and watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade or a football game on TV can lessen the stress and loneliness of being in the hospital.
Remember too, that there are services available to help patients and their families cope with the holidays. Take advantage of the experts who can give you a healthy perspective on your feelings.
Holidays are a time to enjoy and reconnect with family and friends which is particularly important for someone who is ill. Try to not dwell in the past or to think too much about the future. Instead take the time to enjoy the moment. It is true that the future for mesothelioma patients and their families is uncertain, but staying grounded in the present can help keep negative thoughts at bay.
Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.
Finding Comfort in Dad’s Music
A lot of people find much comfort in music. It has a healing quality to it, and you can usually find a song to fit any mood. Here are some lyrics that help me when I need to remember my Dad.
My Dad sang the song I’ll Fly Away often with his band, and it was also sung at his funeral:
“Some glad morning when this life is o’er, I’ll fly away.
To that home on God’s celestial shore, I’ll fly away.”
Dad called Rocky Top his “theme song”:
“Now all I know is it’s a pity life can’t be simple again.”
He was a fan of The Eagles. I remember him working in the basement at home and the song Take it Easy always seemed to be playing:
“Take it easy, take it easy. Don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy.
Lighten up while you still can, don’t even try to understand.
Just find a place to make your stand, and take it easy.”
Lastly, our song was You are My Sunshine:
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are gray.
You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you.
Please don’t take my sunshine away.”
What are some songs that remind you of your loved ones? I’d love to hear about them!
Take the Time to Honor All Veterans
Today, our nation honors those who served our country.
November 11 is once again declared the Veterans Day holiday through a proclamation by the President of the United States.
“On Veterans Day, we reflect on the immeasurable burdens borne by so few in the name of so many, and we rededicate ourselves to supporting those who have worn America’s uniform and the families who stand alongside them.
On Veterans Day, and every day, let us show them the extraordinary gratitude they so rightly deserve, and let us recommit to pledging our full support for them in all they do.”
Unfortunately, to many of our veterans, the day signifies another day of fighting a debilitating injury or illness suffered during their service in the military. According to the latest U.S. Census Bureau data, there were 19.6 million military veterans in the U.S. in 2013. Of those, about 3.6 million now suffer from some form of disability. A small number of these veterans are suffering from mesothelioma or asbestosis, caused by years of exposure to asbestos during their military service.
Many veterans may be unaware that their time in the military may increase their risk of developing respiratory disease related to asbestos exposure. Inhaling microscopic asbestos fibers can lead to serious disease including asbestosis, a chronic scarring of the lungs; lung cancer and mesothelioma, a cancer of the lining of the lungs.
Approximately 3,000 Americans are diagnosed with mesothelioma each year. Statistics show that military veterans account for over one-third of those cases. Asbestos was used as insulation in military buildings and ships. It was also used as an insulator around heat and cooling systems, in Navy vessels and in the gaskets placed inside airplane engines and large machinery.
Take some time out of your day to visit a veteran and thank them for their service. You can also attend a parade or service to honor our veterans. Veteran’s Day celebrations are held throughout the U.S. To find a celebration near you visit the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs website.
A Month of Advocacy, Education and Support for Mesothelioma Patients and Their Families
November is filled with opportunities for mesothelioma patients and their families to raise awareness of the disease, and to educate the American public of the issues facing the mesothelioma community. Not only is November Lung Cancer Awareness Month, but it is also National Hospice and Palliative Care Month and National Family Caregivers Month.
Those who live with pleural mesothelioma, and those who care for someone with mesothelioma, know that educating the public about the struggles facing rare disease sufferers often takes a focused effort from organizations, the government, the medical community and many volunteers. Join in with the organizations sponsoring the campaigns that are dedicated to promoting awareness, honoring those dealing with terminal cancers and to increasing support for the communities.
According to the Lung Cancer Alliance, lung cancer is the deadliest cancer in the world. In fact, more people die from lung cancer than breast, colon and pancreatic cancers combined. Over 158,000 Americans die from lung cancer each year – that is approximately 432 Americans every day. Pleural mesothelioma, a rare, aggressive form of lung cancer caused by past exposure to asbestos, is one of the most difficult cancers to treat and is diagnosed in close to 3,000 Americans each year.
Many mesothelioma patients are faced with treatments aimed at managing their symptoms and improving their quality of life as the tumors continue to spread and their health declines. Doctors often order palliative care which is intended to control pain, stop bleeding, relieve pressure, and to allow patients to be at home with their loved ones.
According to the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO), “every year more than 1.6 to 1.7 million Americans living with life-limiting illness, and their families, received care from the nation’s hospice programs in communities throughout the United States.”
With an effort to encourage citizens to increase their understanding and awareness of care at the end of life, NHPCO has declared November National Hospice and Palliative Care Month. NHPCO encourages everyone to “celebrate all that the hospice and palliative care community has achieved.”
National Family Caregivers Month is also a time to recognize mesothelioma patients and their families. According to the Caregiver Action Network, more than 65 million family caregivers in this country fulfill a vital role on the care team. For mesothelioma patients, the caregivers are vital for helping them follow their medical, dietary and exercise regimens. Caregivers are called upon to deal with the myriad medical appointments, medical bills, updates to other family members and friends as well as ensuring that the household runs efficiently.
In this year’s presidential proclamation recognizing November as National Family Caregivers Month President Obama declared:
“For centuries, we have been driven by the belief that we all have certain obligations to one another. Every day, caregivers across our country answer this call and lift up the lives of loved ones who need additional support. During National Family Caregivers Month, let us honor their contributions and pledge to continue working toward a future where all caregivers know the same support and understanding they show for those they look after.”
This year, CAN is focusing on the theme “Respite: Care for Caregivers.” The organization reports that a respite for the caregiver is not a luxury, rather “the chance to take a breather, the opportunity to re-energize.” And, CAN reports, this is critical for the caregiver to protect his or her well-being.
To find out what you can do to help mesothelioma patients and their families during November visit these organizations’ websites: Caregiver Action Network, Lung Cancer Alliance, National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization.
Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.
Sources
- Lung Cancer Alliance
http://www.kintera.org/faf/error/errorEvent.asp?err=c&ievent=347722&lis=1&kntae347722=B249B0A66E2742FDAC6A93B9B4BE2FD4 - National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization
http://www.nhpco.org/press-room/press-releases/national-hospice-and-palliative-care-month-proclamation - Caregiver Action Network
http://caregiveraction.org - President Obama
https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/the-press-office/2015/10/30/presidential-proclamation-national-family-caregivers-month-2015
Gaining Comfort Knowing Dad is Mesothelioma-Free in Heaven
As I write this, it is the eve of the second anniversary of my Dad’s passing. This is always an extremely challenging time of year for me. I think back to all the “lasts”- the last time I saw Dad, the last conversation, his last day, his last night. I tend to dwell on these times. I then flip-flop to the “firsts”- our first full day without him, our first Christmas without his special family gift showing up, the first birthday where he wasn’t here. Those are hard as well.
I should think of all of his “firsts” though. What were his first moments in Heaven like? Who was the first person he saw? What was the first thing he did? He would have, without a doubt, been in awe (and probably still is) of everything that God has there for him.
For us here, death is a finality, but for Dad, it was a new beginning. While I stay here grieving, he is happy. He got a new body, free of mesothelioma and any pain. Knowing this, I try to recognize that he is in a beautiful place now with no sadness or grief; however, my heartbreak continues.
I often think that if I could just see him or hear his voice things would be so much easier. If I could just have five more minutes with him, maybe I could have some more peace with the situation. Maybe, but then again, I believe that everything happened just as God intended. And even though I can’t see or hear him, I feel like he is watching over me and my family every day.
Even with the pain of losing my Dad, life has continued with many blessings: my daughter who will be turning one year old soon, the health of my family, the list could go on and on. I talk to Dad all the time and ask him to pray for us, and I truly believe that he hears me. He watched out for me for my whole life, why wouldn’t he do the same from Heaven?
Although I will always miss Dad and everything about him, I try to focus on all of the gifts that God has given me. It is hard to recognize them at times, especially right now, but I know that He is taking care of Dad, and that is the greatest blessing anyone could ever want.
Dad, I miss you and love you today and always, and you will forever have a special place in my heart.
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