Category: Faces of Mesothelioma
Helping a Mesothelioma Patient Manage Pain
Any time someone that you love is in pain, you can’t help but feel helpless. You do everything that you can to comfort them, and even when you are able to alleviate some, or even all, of the pain, you are still sorry that they had to experience it in the first place. This was the case during my father’s battle with mesothelioma.
In the “early stages” of his fight, pre-diagnosis, his pain came in the form of exhaustion and the inability to breathe. Later, it was his overall lethargy during chemotherapy, the woes of traveling to and from a clinical trial, and the discomfort during his radiation therapy. A lot of these pains were emotional. I have written before about how important it is to support your loved one on this level; it is an absolute necessity and non-negotiable. However, I want to focus on the physical pain today.
The vast majority of Dad’s physical pain with mesothelioma came following his pleurectomy. As with any surgery, you would expect discomfort immediately after. Once his pain medicine was reduced, you could tell that this man, who never really complained about much, was hurting.
His incision was 20 plus inches, radiating in an almost “J” shape from his shoulder to his ribs. The residual nerve pain plagued him for a long time afterwards. All the while, Dad kept his complaints to a minimum; “After all”, he would say, “I’m so blessed that God let me have this surgery!” That was my father. Always finding God’s hand in every situation, no matter how uncomfortable he may have been.
It was really difficult watching Dad’s recovery, although it seemed to get better with each passing day. You never want someone to have to go through any kind of pain, but it is important to remember that sometimes, that pain is what will lead you to the beauty at the end. Once Dad recovered from his surgery, his quality of life was amazing, and he often talked about how having the procedure was the best decision he could have made. It made all the difficulty worth it.
Remember to stay strong for your friend or family member who is battling mesothelioma. They are going through something unthinkable, as are you. Supporting and loving each other though these times will make you stronger together. God will take over if you let Him; talk to Him, and you can help in praying the pain away.
There are also other things you can do to help. First, listen to your loved one. They will let you know what they need; a listening ear might do the trick one day, but help walking and regaining strength might be on the menu the next. Everyone has things that bring them comfort. Offer to bring those things to your patient, or to help them have those experiences. Sometimes, they may feel like being out, but others, home may be where they want to stay. Let them guide you; your love and support will be a huge help in their recovery process.
Life is Too Short to Take for Granted
This morning, I woke up. I woke up in my cozy home full of love and laughter.
I spent my day working with our business, playing with our daughter, and enjoying every moment with the man God chose to be my husband.
I often call our home our little “bubble,” our own space in this big world.
At the end of the day, I’m tired from all of the “living” I’ve done throughout the day. I fall asleep quickly, wake up, and do it all again.
This beautiful life and routine that God has given me bring me more joy than I could ever have imagined. I look forward to each new milestone, every adventure, and all the love.
Even though I recognize how blessed I am, is it possible that I still take it all for granted?
Life if short, it’s up to us to put as much “living” into our lives as possible. There is the old saying, “Are you too busy making a living that you’ve forgotten to make a life?” This oftentimes rings too true. It’s easy to get so wrapped up in work and chores that you don’t make time to enjoy those around you, people and experiences just waiting for you to notice them and take action.
My Dad’s life was cut short by mesothelioma, yes, but that doesn’t mean that mesothelioma is the only thing that has this effect. Sadly, we lose wonderful people every single day. These are the times where we usually stop and think about our lives and what we’re really doing with them. Why not realize the beauty of life every day?
Tell people you love them, spend time with family and friends. Don’t be afraid to experience new things. Truly live and thank the Good Lord above for the opportunity.
Mesothelioma Caregivers Offer Physical and Emotional Help
Looking back on the time that I spent as a part-time caregiver for my father as he battled pleural mesothelioma, I realize that there were two very different, yet interconnected, parts of the job. Taking care of Dad required concrete, physical help as well as emotional support.
Some of the tasks that were involved in aiding my Dad changed throughout his fight. Before his diagnosis, he couldn’t really do much without being short of breath. At that point, he needed help with chores around the house, things that he would usually have done without batting an eye. After his diagnosis and surgery, he required help cleaning his incision site, navigating movement with his chest tubes, and regaining his strength.
Once Dad was recovered and completed his four rounds of chemotherapy, he felt great! He was cutting grass, playing with his bluegrass band, and taking walks much like he did before he fell ill. One thing that he did lose throughout this process was some muscle. A lot of the time he would get frustrated; he just couldn’t seem to do the things he could before we were presented with the term “mesothelioma.”
These were the times where the second part of caregiving kicked in. It was so vitally important for us to support Dad on a deeper level. He had to know that we were there for him to lean on when he was having a tough day accepting what had happened to him. He would often tell me that he was frustrated. Having been a man who could seemingly do anything and then all at once be changed, had to have been a hard thing to endure.
Loving Dad through his mesothelioma was the easy part; to know him was to love him. I know that he always felt that love; the love of family and friends, and the love of God. That is what carried him through.
Please remember that when you are caring for someone afflicted with this cancer, they are still the same person. Don’t allow them to be defined by a disease. Help them with their bodily needs, but don’t forget those emotional ones as well.
Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.
Don’t Wait To Make A Doctor’s Appointment
Many people have aversions to going to the doctor. When my Dad began having trouble breathing in the summer of 2011, we urged him to make an appointment. He said, “I’m fine, I’m just having some trouble catching my breath. It’s really hot outside, don’t worry about me!” The symptoms began getting worse and then other symptoms started to arise.
I remember when he went to the doctor and they said he had fluid on his lung. It seemed like it could be an infection; that would have been very treatable. Then they found a shadow on his lung. Then he needed the fluid drained. After that came a procedure that finally gave him the awful diagnosis of mesothelioma.
If you think that you have been exposed to asbestos and are experiencing symptoms of asbestos-related diseases like shortness of breath, coughing, weight loss, etc., please consider getting checked out. It’s important to know what you’re up against if it is mesothelioma. It can allow your medical team to create a treatment plan that will be best for you. You owe it to yourself and your loved ones!
Birthday Wishes to My Dad
April 25 would have been my Dad’s 60th birthday. As I sit and ponder, I imagine what this day would have been like if mesothelioma hadn’t robbed us of him. It’s kind of difficult to think about, but my mind wanders there nonetheless.
When Dad turned 50, we had a huge surprise party for him. It was a night filled with music (provided by his band, of course), family, friends, and fellowship. I will never forget the beaming smile that he carried throughout the gathering; it was even more glowing than usual. Dad was so happy to be surrounded by those he loved, and touched that they took the time to be with him.
My father deserved to be celebrated every day, even though he never would have agreed with my sentiments. He was a humble man who felt that he was just doing what he was supposed to do. This meant helping others, seeing the best in every situation, and most of all, being true to his faith. There was not a fake bone in Dad’s body; with him, what you saw was truly what you got.
It is honestly heartbreaking to think that my Dad won’t be here to celebrate such a milestone with us here. I do, however, take comfort in knowing that whatever he’s doing up in Heaven pales in comparison with anything we could plan on earth. Happy birthday, Dad. We love and miss you, and we know that you’re having a beautiful celebration that will last for eternity.
Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.
Free Mesothelioma Patient & Treatment Guide
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