Category: Caregiver Stories

Daughter Encourages Her Father, and Other Mesothelioma Patients, to Be Open to Help from Others

• Joseph Belluck
• Caregiver Stories

My father has been through seven months of treatment for his pleural mesothelioma: surgery, rehabilitation, chemotherapy, and radiation therapy; but now he is back to living life as normal as possible. He has returned to work and this helps him find normalcy again, for he has always been a very hard worker and does not like to be idle.

His work requires him to walk around a lot in a large warehouse. This is both good and bad. It’s good that he is getting exercise to help his lungs become stronger, but he does have to take frequent breaks and sometimes use his oxygen in his office. Besides returning to work, he also does his daily, routine work around the house, such as taking care of the pool, trimming back trees, moving and stacking firewood for the woodstove, and decorating for Christmas – there really isn’t much he has stopped doing since his diagnosis.

It is so great to see my dad back to his old self, but I have to remind him sometimes to ask for help. He’s a man of action and wants to get things done, so he takes a lot on himself. Just over Thanksgiving, while I was home visiting for the holiday, he was getting dressed to go outside to bring in firewood. I said to him, “Dad, I hope you’re not going to the back of the yard alone to get a load of firewood.” His shocked response to me was, “Well yeah, why not?”

I rounded up my two brothers and we walked behind his pickup truck to help. When we got to the back of the yard, he attempted to load up the firewood to fill the bed of the truck. Well, within a few minutes he was huffing and puffing and had to take a break. I said to him, “Dad, we’re here, and we can do it. You watch.” I could see him struggle to take a step back and accept our help, but he listened, and my brothers and I were very happy to help.

While he was in the hospital recovering from his extrapleural pneumonectomy surgery, I wrote him a letter to encourage him and to let him know what I was feeling. One thing that I asked him to do was to please open up to us and accept help from others – he is one that never asks for help and he takes care of everyone else before himself.

I wrote:  “I have found out recently that talking about your feelings and anxieties and accepting help from others makes you feel so much better and it does not make you seem weak. It brings you closer to people. Who knows though, maybe you will return to your complete normal life, but please know that we are here for anything that you need, even if it is just making you a grilled cheese sandwich.”

My message and advice to other mesothelioma patients is to accept help and to not feel ashamed about it. Your friends and family want to help you – they don’t want to see you struggle. Like I said to my dad, it does not show that you are weak when you accept help, rather it brings you closer to the people who love you.

Jennifer Gelsick Reflects Caregiving Rewards

• Nancy Meredith
• Caregiver Stories

Life as a caregiver to a mesothelioma patient can be a trying experience, but now, looking back on the time I spent taking care of my Dad, I realize that there was no place I would have rather been.  I would love to now be able to help Dad with his “fancy” no-slip socks that he had to wear in the hospital or to help him with anything he might need. Time is fleeting, so take advantage of every opportunity to be with your loved ones, no matter whether they have mesothelioma or not.

I remember when I started to help take care of Dad. It was right after he was diagnosed and he had two chest tubes in to drain fluid. Every time he needed to get out of the hospital bed, we had to pick up the drain system and carry it into the bathroom for him. The first time I was asked to carry it, I immediately panicked. Those tubes with that fluid in them…there was no way I could touch them… until I did.

After Dad had his surgery in February of 2012, I helped him walk down the halls in the hotel we were staying in in New York City. I held his arm and was so afraid that I would pull him and then mess up something with his incision. I could not take the pressure… until I did.

All through this process, I questioned myself and how I would handle whatever would happen next. I thought, what if the cancer came back, there would be no way that I could personally go through that again… until I did.

My biggest fear was getting a phone call that Dad was gone. I never truly believed it would happen. I thought that I had played out every possible scenario in my head, but I hadn’t. When I found out that Dad had passed, I knew for a fact that I could never handle it… until I had to.

Being a caregiver is a daunting task, but in retrospect, it was the most rewarding experience I have ever had. My Dad knew how much I loved him, but it was in those times I had the privilege to care for him that I could really show it. He never really asked for anything, but he didn’t have to. He knew that we were there for him, no matter what. You may think, like I did, that it was too much for you and you could never in a million years be able to handle it. But I promise you can. God will give you strength and carry you through. So treasure the time you have with your loved ones, take care of each other, and thank God every day for the opportunity.

A Story of Faith and Hope of a Mesothelioma Caregiver

• Nancy Meredith
• Caregiver Stories, Family, Mesothelioma

Jennifer Gelsick lives a quiet life in St. Marys, Pennsylvania with her husband, Michael, and their dog, Gus.  She and her husband run their own business, and Jennifer has time to enjoy her hobbies including cooking, reading and taking long walks around their neighborhood with Gus.  She also dedicates much of her time to her church.  But over the last year, her father’s diagnosis of pleural mesothelioma upended Jennifer’s serene life and tested her faith.

Ultimately it was Jennifer’s faith, and her father’s strength, faith and positive attitude while battling asbestos cancer that helped her get through the year.  Not only did she and her father survive the year, but Jennifer believes it was through a series of miracles that her father is now cancer free.

Like many people in the United States, Jennifer had heard of mesothelioma through television ads, but she didn’t have an understanding of the disease. She didn’t even realize it was a form of cancer.  She usually left during the commercials to clean the dishes or grab a snack before settling back in front of the TV.

Now, Jennifer knows more than she ever wanted to know about the dangers of asbestos and the health issues that the widely used building material can cause many people.  And Jennifer wants to educate as many people as possible about mesothelioma and other asbestos-related diseases.

Jennifer will be offering readers of Mesothelioma Help the story of her family’s journey through months of treatment and recovery as her father battled mesothelioma.  Specifically, Jennifer looks forward to sharing stories of faith and hope and helping others realize that there is life with mesothelioma, and there is life after mesothelioma.

Please join us in welcoming Jennifer to Mesothelioma Help as she tells her story as a caregiver and a daughter of a mesothelioma survivor.

Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.