Author: Joseph Belluck
The Promise of Heaven is Comforting
Twice a year, a local community in the mountains near my parents’ home hosts a wonderful event. There are craft vendors, activities, and perhaps the highlight (for us, anyway) is an all you can eat pancake dinner. It goes from morning to night… need I say more! We always enjoy taking the trip there, catching up with friends, and of course, eating until we are stuffed!
Last April, about a month before Dad’s radiation treatments were to begin in New York City, we sent Mom off to work and Dad, my husband Mike, and I were pancake bound! We took our time enjoying the beautiful early spring weather and each other’s company. On the way home, we stopped at several scenic overlooks and admired the natural beauty. It was at that point when Dad said something I would never forget.
Looking out at the mountains, Dad said, “I can’t wait to get to Heaven so I can fly around over all this.” I didn’t for one second get upset by his statement. He wasn’t talking about anything he felt was imminent. He was talking about the promise of Heaven that is given to each and every one of us. This promise will get you through every struggle, it will be with you through every moment of laughter, and will follow you through every turn, good or bad.
We stopped to take some pictures at that spot, laughing together the whole time. It was a very special day for the three of us. Just being together and having that time is a memory that I will always hold close to my heart. Earlier that day, Dad had baked some bread. When we got home that night, we even made pumpkin pies, something that Dad had been wanting to try for some time. It was just one of those days that you know will stick with you.
Losing Dad was heartbreaking and I miss him every single day. Even when I’m feeling at my loneliest without him, I remember the promise of Heaven. Dad, I hope that you’re up there flying over the mountains, watching all of us from up above.
Don’t Stop Your Mesothelioma Fundraising Goals
When you are fundraising, you always get some people who say “no.” It might be a donor, someone you ask to volunteer, or even a business you ask to sponsor an event. It’s important to remember that sometimes people are overwhelmed with financial obligations, personal commitments, or donation requests. That being said, there is definitely something to be said about patient persistence.
Don’t get discouraged when someone tells you that they are unable to participate in any way to assist you with your efforts. Thank them for considering and ask them to pass the word along to others who may be interested in helping out.
Let a “no” make you even more committed to reaching your goals and helping others. It can motivate you to try harder, do more, and come up with new and innovative ideas to encourage people to get involved.
Trust me, I have been told “no” many, many times while I have been involved in the mesothelioma community. It may seem frustrating at times, but don’t dwell on that. Look at all the support that you do have and gain strength from that. Most importantly, remember who you are advocating for and why you are passionate about it. Let these thoughts be the driving force behind your work and turn the negative into a positive.
Ask Jennifer: “Did Your Father Have Boundaries to His Treatments?”
After Dad had his surgery, a pleurectomy, in New York City, he arrived home and began his chemotherapy treatments. From the beginning, he promised me that he would fight, going as far as saying, “I don’t quit.” As far as I knew, he was open to every treatment possibility from the start. Little did I know that he initially had some doubts.
I was talking with Dad one evening while we were visiting and he told me that originally, he had made up his mind that he wasn’t having surgery. He would have agreed to do chemotherapy or other non-surgical treatments, but he wasn’t going to go the surgical route. This absolutely surprised me! I had no idea that he was thinking along those lines.
When I asked Dad what eventually changed his mind, he told me that when a total stranger found us to tell us about Dr. Pass and the pleurectomy, he knew that God was at work and that this was the path He wanted him to take. Dad was a man of such great faith, and this is a prime example.
Once the surgery and chemotherapy were completed, he was excited to be a part of a clinical trial at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, also in NYC. He said that if there was something more that could be done to help him, he was going to do it.
Having those initial feelings of doubt and dread are only natural. After all, it’s the fear of the unknown and having to deal with a lot of information in a short period of time. The best advice I can give anyone facing mesothelioma treatment decisions is to pray about it. Do your best not to be overwhelmed (easier said than done, I know) and weigh all your options, making the decisions that you feel are best for you or your loved one.
I am so proud of Dad and how his trust in God caused him to know no boundaries in how far he would go to beat mesothelioma. Even though the unknown is scary, God always will get you through. Dad’s example is one that I try to follow in my everyday life. Perhaps his mantra could have been, “There are no boundaries when you know God.”
Don’t Forget to Thank Your Mesothelioma Fundraiser Support Team
“It takes a village” to pull off a successful fundraiser or educational forum benefitting the mesothelioma community at large. So many people spend countless hours collecting donations, selling tickets, printing fliers, advertising. The list goes on and on. And it’s a list that you could not complete alone.
Volunteers are the backbone of an effective event and it is important to always recognize their contributions. These giving people who donate their time and energy never expect anything in return, but it is important to thank them. Without these individuals, you probably wouldn’t have been able to have as large on an impact on the community.
It’s not necessary to buy gifts or do anything extravagant. A simple note or card letting them know how much their help means to you can be more than enough. Write from the heart and they will feel it. Tell them what a difference they are making in the lives of so many people, and also invite them to help out with your next event!
Some people host a pizza party or ice cream social for their volunteers. This is also a nice idea. It’s a pleasant way to unwind and bond with others who hold mesothelioma fundraising close to their hearts. It’s also a good time to reflect on what you’ve accomplished together and brainstorm for your next event!
I greatly appreciate all of the help I have received from friends, family members, and strangers who have become friends. Thank you for being so kind. Please pray, and continue to “Believe in a cure!”
Family Came Together to Decide on Best Mesothelioma Treatment
Jennifer’s father was diagnosed with mesothelioma in January 2012. Today she reflects on those first few weeks when her family grappled with deciding the treatment plan.
Once we received Dad’s diagnosis of pleural mesothelioma, we knew that some decisions needed to be made and rather quickly at that. We were originally told that the best option was to have Dad evaluated to see if he was a candidate to have his right lung completely removed.
After a couple of days, we received information about the possibility of a different surgery, a pleurectomy, in which the lining of the lung would be removed, but everything possible would be done to save the lung itself. This opportunity would require travel to New York City. Chemotherapy was also an option.
My Dad, Mom, husband, and I wrestled with many questions as to how we should proceed. From the moment of the diagnosis, we all knew that this was not just Dad’s fight. We were all in this together. We knew that we would do everything that we could to work together to give Dad the best treatment possible and would stop at nothing. Giving up was never an option.
We did know, however, that the ultimate decision would be my father’s to make. We carefully weighed all the possibilities and prayed for guidance constantly. Finally, Dad decided that he would take the trip to NYC. This resulted in living there for two and a half weeks, followed by countless subsequent trips for a clinical trial and radiation which required a six week stay. Dad had the utmost confidence in his doctors and entire medical team, and so did the rest of us.
Having my family band together and rally around Dad was a great source of comfort and solace for all of us, I believe. He knew that he wasn’t alone, and the rest of us knew that we could turn to one another for reassurance. It’s never easy to go through tough times, but going through them with those you love the most helps to cushion the blow.
Remember, that even though you might have moments when you feel as though it’s you against the world, God is always with you and is on your side. Rely on Him and pray for strength for your loved ones.
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