Author: Joseph Belluck
Find A Shoulder To Cry On To Help You Deal With Mesothelioma Cancer
Internalizing your emotions can be an easy thing to do when you or someone you love is facing a mesothelioma diagnosis. Even if you don’t mean to do this, it tends to happen. I can tell you from my own experience that it happened to me, but that things seemed a lot more manageable once I opened up to those I love.
When Dad was first diagnosed, I was a mess of emotions that didn’t make any sense. In one instant, everything I knew changed. I was sad, scared, angry, and confused. I knew that everyone around me was feeling the same way, and I didn’t want to burden anyone with having to help me when I knew that we needed to focus on my father. It didn’t take me long to realize that I was going to be of no help to anyone until I had some comforting myself.
It was hard opening up to people about what was going on with Dad’s health. First of all, I really didn’t understand a lot of what was happening; secondly, talking about it made things seem more real and the pain became deeper somehow. In talking with my husband, Mike, I began to accept that this had to be our new reality and that God would guide us through it.
When I began to talk to him, I don’t think I used any words. I remember just crying uncontrollably, but having him there beside me was all I needed. Once I could talk, I told him how scared I was and that I didn’t know what I was supposed to be doing. How would I ever smile or laugh again knowing that Dad had cancer? I would see people walking down the halls of the hospital living their normal lives, wondering if I would ever have that again. I needed to admit to myself that there is still beauty in life, even in the face of the toughest adversity.
People want to be there to support you in hard times, you just have to let them, but on your own terms. You’ll know when you’re ready to talk and how much you feel like sharing. The important thing to remember is that others really do care and might be just as confused as to how to help you as you are about asking for their assistance. Pray about it and let God lead the way. He will always lead you where you need to go.
Ask Jennifer: “How Do I Manage All This Mesothelioma Paperwork?”
With any medical diagnosis comes a lot of paperwork. With something as complex as mesothelioma, that correspondence can become overwhelming. Keeping everything organized can be a daunting task, to say the least, but it’s a task worth undertaking.
I completely understand the thought that, “I have a million other things I need to worry about, I can’t sort through paperwork right now!” If there is any possible way to do it though, it really is important. Even little things like keeping all your records in one place and writing upcoming appointments on a calendar can make a world of difference. You never know when someone might need to see a form or copy of a scan. It’s very useful and beneficial if you are able to provide that information to them.
Mom kept the bulk of Dad’s records in a basket, and then the things that seemed more pertinent were put in a folder. That folder, along with a notebook, accompanied them to every appointment, meeting, and treatment. It proved to be a valuable resource time and time again.
If you’re not sure how to organize things, talk to someone at your doctor’s office; they may be able to give you some more specific guidance. Ask a friend for some help, their clear thinking will be extremely helpful! Best of luck to you and remember to always believe in a cure!
Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.
Mom’s Strength and Faith Keep Me Going
Over the past couple of years, I have realized what I always suspected: my Mom is the strongest woman I have ever known. Throughout Dad’s fight with mesothelioma, she was the rock that we all turned to for guidance and reassurance. When Dad passed away, she was the one who made us feel like everything would be ok. How she does it, I will never know.
Mom’s inner strength has always amazed me. From the time I was a little girl, I always knew she was “tough;” it took something like a mesothelioma diagnosis for me to realize just how tough she really is. Mom’s faith never wavered during all the ups and downs that came with this unchartered territory. Right from the start when I asked her what we were going to do, her strength shined through.
This past year has been tough on all of us without Dad. Even so, Mom, who lost her husband of nearly 32 years, has been the one holding us all together. When I feel down, she makes me realize that Dad is in a better place now with no pain and no suffering. He can breathe again, sing again, and is an angel who is always with us.
I thank God every day for Mom, and pray that I might have even half of the strength that she has. Handling every day with dignity and poise in the face of adversity is not an easy task, but it’s one that Mom has had to endure every day. She is a wonderful example of the beauty that lies deep within true strength.
Starting Your Fundraising Efforts for the Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation
Working with the Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation has given me so much. My family and I have received invaluable advice and direction, made new friends, and have gotten the opportunity to give back in so many ways. I was put in touch with them by a friend who had also directed us to New York City for Dad’s treatment.
When I first contacted the Meso Foundation, I had no idea what to expect. What would I ask? Who would I talk to? Could they really help me? To be honest, I don’t remember a lot of the details of what I said, but I do remember feeling hopeful after my initial conversation. I realized that the staff there were knowledgeable, compassionate people who are experts in the field of mesothelioma.
Once Dad arrived home from the hospital after his pleurectomy, we knew that we wanted to give back somehow and try to help the Meso Foundation continue to make a profound difference in mesothelioma research, advocacy, and support. We began planning our first fundraiser shortly after.
The Meso Foundation has an amazing fundraising coordinator and a great team who can help you get on your way. They can provide you with ideas, or help you turn your idea into a reality. Once your event is complete, it’s a great idea to ask corporations and local businesses to match your contribution, doubling the amount you are able to donate.
I am proud to be a member of the Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation’s Rising Leaders Council, a group of young advocates dedicated to working toward the goal of finding a cure for this awful disease. If you would like more information on the Meso Foundation and their life changing work, please visit curemeso.org.
Mesothelioma Advocacy Requires Patience and Persistence
When people around you who are aware of what mesothelioma is and what causes it, but still don’t take it seriously, it can be absolutely heartbreaking. People live busy lives nowadays, but it’s still important to be sensitive to the issues and dangers of asbestos. Ignorance has gotten us nowhere, and it’s important to stand up for yourself and your loved ones.
It’s amazing how close to home that comment hits me now, about 11 months since my Dad passed away. Every comment takes me back to the day we got the call that he had stopped breathing, and makes the grief that I always feel totally fresh. I have said it before, but unless you go through it, you can never really understand the way that mesothelioma tears people apart.
When someone hurts you with their words, it is important to try to keep your composure and let them know that you are upset. Tell them what you’ve gone through and help them understand that mesothelioma and asbestos are not an easy topic for you, nor should they be for anyone.
Education is the only way that people will comprehend what you’ve experienced, and it is a wonderful way to advocate for the entire mesothelioma community. Try to turn your negative experience into a positive and enlighten someone about asbestos related diseases. This could be your opportunity to truly make a difference in someone’s life.
Free Mesothelioma Patient & Treatment Guide
We’d like to offer you our in-depth guide, “A Patient’s Guide to Mesothelioma,” absolutely free of charge.
It contains a wealth of information and resources to help you better understand the condition, choose (and afford) appropriate treatment, and exercise your legal right to compensation.
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