Author: Joseph Belluck
Gift Suggestions for Mesothelioma Patients
What do you get for the person who has everything? This is a common question, usually displayed in stores and commercials during the Christmas season. Some people ask the question in a different way: What do you get for the person who has mesothelioma?
This can be answered in a lot of different ways and it could depend on what they have going on in their lives as well. For someone who is currently undergoing chemotherapy or radiation treatments, it might be nice to give them a basket of foods that are easy on their stomach. Or maybe movies, books, or magazines to occupy them during their treatments, and while they are at home recuperating.
For someone who travels a lot for appointments, etc., maybe think of a nice travel bag or something to keep them busy during the trip. Comfortable clothing might also be something that they would enjoy. Religious gifts like prayer books or inspirational stories could also be a good idea. Homemade gifts are always wonderful and can become treasured keepsakes for years to come.
Whatever you decide, remember that your loved one is still the same person that they were before they were diagnosed. Even if you purchase some items that I suggested, remember the real person underneath the mesothelioma. Cater your gift to what they enjoy, not to the disease itself. If in doubt, you can always ask the mesothelioma warrior themselves what they would like, or talk to a close family member about it! They are sure to have some useful yet thoughtful ideas to share. Happy shopping!
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Holiday Season Is a Time of Hope for Mesothelioma Community
With the holiday season upon us, it is a bittersweet time for many people in the mesothelioma community. Having lived as a part of this community for almost three years now, I have experienced every holiday with my Dad having this disease and every holiday without my father since his passing in October 2013.
I remember the difference in my Dad between Christmas 2011 and Christmas 2012. In 2011, he was very sick, but had not yet been diagnosed. We were in a state of flux, waiting to hear what the next steps would be to help him. He was having a lot of trouble breathing, losing weight quickly, and was completely exhausted all the time. The sparkle in his eyes that was sort of his trademark wasn’t there anymore, and his happy-go-lucky attitude had given way to doing his best to make it through another day.
As we opened our gifts and shared our time with family, I remember wondering to myself if this might be the last Christmas I would have with him. Even not knowing what was wrong, I knew that he was just going through the motions to try to keep everyone happy; that was not him at all. The following month, Dad was diagnosed and we were sent on a whirlwind ride throughout 2012.
Christmas that year was completely different. Dad was back to being himself again. He felt great, even taking some time to ride his new exercise bike that was given to him for a gift. He was Mr. Social, taking charge of getting the table ready for dinner, laughing and talking with everyone, and enjoying every single second. It was as though he had a new lease on life. I never expected that this would, in fact, be his last Christmas. Even so, it was a beautiful one that I will treasure forever.
No matter what the situation, dealing with an illness for yourself or your loved ones is difficult. The holidays seem to make it even harder for some reason. Last year, our first Christmas without Dad, was bittersweet. We did our best to carry on our traditions just like he would have wanted. It was his favorite time of the year, and we knew that the best way to honor his memory was to smile through the pain and enjoy the time we had with those who were here.
This time of year is a time of hope. Hold onto that hope and believe that miracles do happen every day; many times, we just don’t see them until later! Make every moment count and enjoy this season with your loved ones. God bless you and your families!
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There is No Good Time for Mesothelioma
John Lennon is quoted as saying, “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” No matter how precisely you have things planned out in your mind, God’s plan takes over. Perhaps the quote, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans” is more fitting here. I guess that in reality, you have to let go of any control you think you might have and look at the life around you happening right now.
No matter what, there is no “good time” to get mesothelioma. It doesn’t matter what’s happening in your life at the moment, everything changes so that you can take care of yourself or your loved one. Vacations are cancelled, work schedules shift, plans with friends are the last thing on your mind. It has to be that way because health priorities take over.
Oftentimes, when someone is faced with adversity of any kind, they wonder “why now?” The answer to this question will always elude us. We have no way of knowing why things happen the way that they do. We just have to do our best to accept the challenges ahead of us and realize what is really important in life.
During my father’s fight with mesothelioma, he always told us not to change our plans and to have fun doing whatever would make us happiest. The truth is, the thing that we were the happiest doing was spending time with him. No matter if that meant going out and doing things when he was feeling his best, or taking care of him at his worst, being together was so special to us that it didn’t matter. There was no place we would have rather been than by his side.
Try not to get discouraged if you’re having trouble juggling personal obligations and interests with taking care of your loved one. Pray about it and it will all come together. Also, if you’re the patient, remember that your family loves you and only wants the best for you. They want to be there for you anyway that they can.
Life is a balancing act; luckily, we don’t have to go through it alone. God bless you.
Advocate for Mesothelioma Research During Lung Cancer Awareness Month
November is lung cancer awareness month, a great time to reflect and work on new ways to spread the message about mesothelioma prevention, lack of funding, and advocacy. Keep in mind that many people do not realize that mesothelioma is a form of lung cancer, so the general public may be surprised (just like I was) to learn this devastating fact.
Look for events in your community that you can participate in. Check with local hospitals and doctor’s offices about what they are doing to recognize this month. If they need some help, volunteer to assist them with existing programs, or even ask if you can implement one of your own! If time constraints are too tight this year, start working on something for 2015!
Holding a fundraiser during this month of awareness would tie the message together. It would get the word out about mesothelioma and how much help is needed to work towards better treatments and an eventual cure, as well as raise money for an excellent cause.
This month may also be a great time to put on your advocacy hat and petition your local, state, and national government about laws concerning asbestos and regulations concerning mesothelioma. Get as many people involved as you can and make your presence known; send letters, make phone calls. With this month being recognized, it should be brought to the forefront of the minds of those who can help to put new programs into action.
Remember that any bit of awareness that you can bring to lung cancer and mesothelioma victims, warriors, and their families will make a difference. Reach out and remember our end goal of eradicating this awful disease forever!
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Considering a Mesothelioma End-of-Life Discussion with the Family
With my Dad, we never had a discussion about “end of life things” directly. I knew from fleeting chats that his main concern was getting to Heaven when he passed, no matter when that would be. It was a conversation that was had from the time I was a little girl about living in a way that would please God and eventually lead to the promise of a heavenly home.
Once he was diagnosed with mesothelioma, I did learn a couple of things about what Dad did not want. He didn’t want a tube in his throat and he didn’t want to have to suffer. Thankfully, God blessed him by taking him quickly at home.
These kinds of conversations are ones that most people dread having. Some people, on the other hand, like to let their loved ones know their wishes; in a way, they may be trying to make it easier on their family in the long run.
Be sure to leave the door open for your loved one to talk about end of life wishes and hopes. Even though you may not be completely comfortable with it, let them guide the conversation; after all, it is about them. Let them know that you are paying attention to what they are saying and make a conscious effort to remember every word.
Even if you never have this discussion, you may find, as we did, that your loved one made little comments here and there that you can pull together, allowing you to create a wonderful memorial for them. If not, just take some time to think and recall your fondest memories, let them guide you and bring you peace.
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